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Song Parodies -> "OOPS, the Programmer's Friend"

Original Song Title:

"Oops, I Did It Again"

Original Performer:

Britney Spears

Parody Song Title:

"OOPS, the Programmer's Friend"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

This is a bit of a techie lecture: object-oriented programming is a great concept, but while we have hardware and operating system software which is written procedurally, all OOP development is purely a hugely bloated wrapper around procedural code. In these days of Pentiums and mega-fast computers, it doesn't matter much, but I've written 50k utilities which when rewritten using object-oriented VC++ go to a megabyte and still need run-time libraries. OK, guys and gals, your starter for ten - how many Britney fans out there will actually understand the concepts behind this one?
I think I did it again
I followed a whole new programming trend
In Delphi
It might frequently crash
But that could be 'cause I'm running Windows
I can put all my objects
In one system repositry
In Delphi Delphi

OOPS, the programmer's friend
Procedural code has now met its end
In Delphi Delphi
OOPS, was it really so bad
Those techniques we had?
It's not that evident

You see my problem is this
What code represents
Wishing that objects would truly exist
I try using events
Can't you see it's only emulation
Pretending to be objects
In a most procedural world
Delphi, oh

OOPS, the programmer's friend
Procedural code as a means to an end
In Delphi Delphi
OOPS, the advantages gained
Cannot be explained
It's not inheritance

"Run the program"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to see"
"Oh, it looks just the same, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But it's less than one hundredth of the size of the OO version"
"Well, this was written in the old way"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

OOPS, the programmer's friend
Causes bloat
But looks just the same
OOPS, it still gets my vote
Though what's been gained
Is not that evident

OOPS, the programmer's friend
A new bunch of bugs that I've got to mend
In Delphi Delphi
OOPS, though in speed it's outclassed
Machines are so fast
It's not that evident

OOPS, the programmer's friend
Procedural code has now met its end
In Delphi Delphi
OOPS, was it really so bad
Those techniques we had?
It's not that evident

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   6
 4   4
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Buchoff - January 24, 2003 - Report this comment
This made me laugh out loud (because I'm a nerd, and I know what Delphi is!) Probably won't get as many votes as it deserves, but I loved it.
Billy Florio - January 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeff, you think youre a nerd for knowing what Delphi is? Ive got you beat..I learned Delphi (and Im not a programer!)..anyway, Phil its a good parody, but I hardly doubt many people will know what youre talking about...... And I hardly doubt Britney Spears would say what she does in your song LoL....But It would sure be funny to hear her go: "But it's less than one hundredth of the size of the OO version" always, great job Phil
neminem - January 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Britney fans? Probably not many. But how many people here write most parodies specifically because they like the song? Admit it. Most of the people here are nerds/techies/whatever. I know I am. Great parody, by the way. Ok, I know you figured I'd say this, since I was the one who wanted you to write this parody in the first place, but still...
J.B. - January 26, 2003 - Report this comment
I've done professional programming in Delphi for two years, and i STILL gave you the lowest marks possible.
Phil Alexander - January 27, 2003 - Report this comment
JB- Why? If you've been programming in Delphi that long, you should realize that in OOP objects are only simulated in a procedural environment, with the overhead that comes from the hundreds of methods, properties and events which are defined but you never actually use. Hence hugely bloated programs: me, I love Delphi as a programming environment (and have been using it professionally for seven years), but that shouldn't blind you to its faults.

neminem - Thanks, without your comment I probably wouldn't have bothered to finish this one. I'm pleased you're happy with it


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