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Song Parodies -> "Big Teeth"

Original Song Title:

"One Week"

Original Performer:

Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"Big Teeth"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Holy crap, this went by a lot faster than I thought it would. Huh. Epic 40, my codling.
It's got big teeth and it's after me
I don't care about why, it wants to eat me
Gang way, kinda need to flee, cause it
Has more teeth than the Osmond family
Amscray, I'mma comin' through
If you get eaten, ain't my fault, cause you should've moved
Anyway, monster's after me
And by the look on his face, I think that he's hungry

Holy cow, that thing looks ugly
It's a genuine freak
Yeah, it's a real freak of nature, man
Kinda eldritch, smells like fish, you know, I shouldn't stop to diss
The giant monster
Lookin' at me like a can of Spam
Why is the army never on time
They always waste time
And say "It is all up to you"
Hey, dumbass, I don't got skills
I don't rack up kills, I wet my pants at tiny bugs, dude
Gotta make a break cause it ain't safe
Probably thinks I taste like steak
But I should tell it, I don't have a tasty flavour
Honestly, I don't think that his nose
Is workin', though it may just show
He's just that ravenous
Not picky, what a trooper

Why am I talking when this creature's runnin' really fast
Need a car, I regret wearin' these pants
Cause they're really tight, they're splicin' my nadges through
Fellas, you get what I mean?
Really hurts, dude
I hope this crazy beast will wear out eventually
Though I could say the same thing about these shorts

It's got big teeth, runnin' after me
Now it takes to the air
I guess it has wings
Did not notice them, you see
When I found the thing, it was sound asleep
Flat on it's back, it was snoring too
When it woke up, froze on the spot
It was like I was glued
Suddenly, it just came to me
That I should make like a tree and get out with much speed

Look at his mouth there, the drool keeps drippin'
It's makin' a mess, but why am I carin'?
Wants to eat me with no reason
He'll have me well done
His flame breath nicks the edge of my bum
My breath's getting short, P.E. I dropped it
I couldn't stand it
It might've stopped me being monster pie
This sounds like something from a B-film
Maybe a Z-film
When did that stupid schlock become real life?

Gotta tell you, all this isn't fun
Wish that I had packed along a gun
At least a phone that has a speed-dial for the army
Hope that they come soon before I'm doomed
With a large crew and then it's BOOM monster filet
Mike Bay might just cream his jeans

I cannot help it, makin' funnies when we're in deep crap
Tryin' hard not to cry or mess my pants
It looks like this hike may end in a funeral
That would kinda suck for me
Sure would blow
I have a tendency to blabber on nervously
It's not like all of this running crap has worked

It's got big teeth, it'll soon eat me
Honestly wonder why
It doesn't hurry
Maybe it gets tired too, I hope
That thing's stamina freaks me out, how about you?
Hang on, I can't hear the drool
Maybe that thing got lost and gave
Up, and left to snooze
Hopefully, he's lost sight of me
So I'll just turn around and see if it's still on me

I'll just turn around slow, see if it's still on me
Turn around really slow and I'll see if it's on me
Sweet mercy, Batman, just look at those teeth!
"More teeth than the Osmond family" and "splicin' my nadges" are references to Red Dwarf.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Glen S - May 01, 2012 - Report this comment
SHAME on everyone, for having no one comment on a parody of this song. Quality work here TCOP. Lots of work went in and it shows. I liked your take, but the 'BOOM' stanza and the 'makin' funnies' stanza after it were my favorites. Lots of GREAT soundalikes in there, and well done for scaling this mountain.
brightCAP - May 11, 2012 - Report this comment
It's an impressive feat to tackle that song! The pace fits well with the chase scene. I enjoyed how the prey is describing and discovering more about the monster as he flees. And the end is a nice suspenseful touch. Favorite line: "That I should make like a tree and get out with much speed"
Porfle Popnecker - May 11, 2012 - Report this comment
It sounds scary but it's got to be better than having the actual Osmond family after you.
Abbott Skelding - May 14, 2012 - Report this comment
You had me with the Osmond family reference and the "make like a tree..." line. Great work here, 555 pearly whites comin' at ya!
Glen S - May 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Still very impressive to scale this mountain. On the 2nd read, I appreciate your 'fellas, get what I mean?' stanza and the line 'I have a tendency to blabber on nervously'. Still awesome TCOP
Peter Andersson - May 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Here's my theory: In the monster realm, they got really bad dental health plans, that's why they're so angry and violent all the time (wouldn't you by if you were in dental pain 24/7?).
Blaydeman - May 22, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Major props for taking this one down! It's a rough song and you slayed it! 555 big-toothed monsters chasing after you!
Jeff Reuben - May 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Great job on a tough song! I'm glad this wasn't about a date...that would have scared me quite a bit. Funny stuff in here.
Arwen - May 29, 2012 - Report this comment
SOTM...I would do 35 more American Pies and 9 more Major Generals before I even thought about doing this OS again. Hands down, it's the hardest OS I've ever parodied...and for that alone, you get props. Doing it with this level of excellence...even better. Love!!
Matthias - May 30, 2012 - Report this comment
This song is extremely difficult to pull off but it was kinda fun. Still you need to stop complaining about these "monsters" man. You live in Australia I bet you see scarier things living underneath your bathroom sink.
Arwen - February 26, 2013 - Report this comment
SOTY...I've been watching a lot of old X-Files on Netflix lately...and maybe that's why I picture Mulder singing this song this time around. For some reason that makes it funnier to me...he really did battle some epic monsters. Love it!

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