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Song Parodies -> "All to Craft a Shiv"

Original Song Title:

"All I Have to Give"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Backstreet Boys

Parody Song Title:

"All to Craft a Shiv"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I don't know how gift-giving in prison actually works, but I can imagine ways they can be abused...
Yes, I know that it's hard on the inside
Waiting 'til your sentence subsides
So if I seem rather harsh
You broke my trust just like that mugger's spine
I don't care if you have to do things
To make prison life less hard
But you know self-defense does not work
When you spend so long making something sharp

'Cause my gifts were all to craft a shiv
And all I can say here is: what gives?
I was all on board for helping you
But it was all to craft a shiv (shiv)

When I dropped (when I dropped) off that big tissue box
Never thought that it would end this way
Driving me crazy, I thought you would want it
To wipe your brow 'cause air con here ain't great
Said you'd need (said you'd need) both my sneakers in hopes
You could run far from nasty guys
But I see in front of me
Somebody who was always made of lies

'Cause my gifts were all to craft a shiv
MacGyvered yourself a knife, what gives?
I wish I'd not given them to you
Since it was all to craft a shiv (ho-oh-oh, to you)

You jerk, it hurts
Making me look like I am the bad guy
Oh-oh-oh-ho-oh-oh, ho-oh, gave you the tools to hurt
Sure, you've not done it yet but that begs the question: Why tell me the truth, buddy?
Don't need to know this 'bout you (no fan of shivs, no fan of shivs)
Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls spillin' where the guards might hear you
You (you're confusing me), you, you, you, you, you (you)
You're shocking me (don't get it, it's nonsense)
All that for just one shiv (this is all really weird, dude)

So my gifts were all to craft a shiv
Not yet been inserted shaft to tip (not shanked that shiv from shaft to tip, it's true)
I phrased that real weird but it's still true (no, you can't deny the truth)
I'm really worried 'bout that shiv (so worried 'bout that)
Since my gifts were all to craft a shiv
You want any more? Forget that shit
Until I have "been disposed of" proof
Don't try to justify that shiv (shiv, want proof)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (to craft a shiv)
You somehow repurposed all my gifts
And I'm so confused, buddy
Why confess to me 'bout the shiv (that weird-ass homebrew shiv)?
Well, my gifts were all to craft a shiv (yeah, yeah-eah)
That's something with which I must now live (with that info, must live)
Emotional rollercoaster, true
This visit's wrecked 'cause of that shiv (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
Man, my gifts were all to craft a shiv

The really annoying thing is that I kept typing "shiv" as "shive". I don't even know if that's a word!

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   14
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 14
 

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