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Song Parodies -> "Once a Dell had I"

Original Song Title:

"What the Hell have I"

Original Performer:

Alice in Chains

Parody Song Title:

"Once a Dell had I"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

I'm using a somewhat archaic title here, but since the original song was written for a movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger did a classic Shakespearian pose, and also that the parody lyrics subject computers by many users are held to be nothing more than abacuses, I think that's somehow appropriate.
The screen before my eyes'
Gaffe like the inside
Tasks, if made at all, went slow - to nay
And at times it blew - and died

'Was hard to start it over
I could hear it getting slower
All the time, well...

Why, oh why'd I pay!
Regrets I had each day!
Wanted clerks I could berate - or slay!
And why's their mail so late - decay?

'Was hard to start it over
I could see it getting slower
All the time, Dell...

'Was hard to start it over
I could smell it getting slower
All the time, bleeeh!

'Was hard to start it over
I could feel how I 'came poorer
All the time, baaah!

At one time...

Once a Dell had I...

But it died
© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MrMacphisto - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
The OS is my favorite by Alice in Chains. You did a good job with the parody too....
Red Ant - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS? Yeah, right! I was all set to bag Dells, but I sit here now with my 4th HP in 8 years (maybe "A Little Bitter" parody idea there...). Great OS and parody, and thanks for visiting my parody of this OS. 5s.
Dee Range - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I had a POS Dell notebook once...never again. Great message, 5's
Matthias - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
What's next? The Hammer Whacked The Dell: To the nursery rhyme the Farmer in the Dell
AFW - April 02, 2006 - Report this comment
You've done a Dell of a job, here..
Larry Hensley - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny, and I still use a dell. Mine's ok, not wonderful though. Matthias' idea could be even funnier if it was about M. C. Hammer!
Tommy Tur-Dell - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm such a pea-brain... didn't even think of puters, more of Farmer's dell.... Shopped for a Dell, but terrible service writeups scared off. 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx everyone! Tommy Turtle: You're not alone, my own first thought with the title "Once a dell had I" was that the theme was gonna be post-sex-change-operation-from-woman-to-man.

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