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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Incrypt This Keeper"

Original Song Title:

"Dam That River"

Original Performer:

Alice in Chains

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Incrypt This Keeper"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

You didn't think Halloween was over, did you?
I threw him in a canyon
I drowned him in a lake
He's a snake I cannot trample
Bony thing I can't encase

Oh, I can't incrypt this keeper
I maimed him, he don't give a damn anyway
No, I can't incrypt this keeper
But I smashed him in ev'ry way

I sloshed and saw him crumble
I stuck him in a vase
He'd stare at me from be-low
Gawd, I can't this thing erase!

Oh, I can't incrypt this keeper
I maimed him, I used evry' screem queen cliché
No, I can't incrypt this keeper
But I clubbed him beyond array

I burned the place around him
I hit him with a stake
I run a van like vandals
Flat tyred, he's awake

Oh, I can't incrypt this keeper
I maimed him, I made him a buffy buffet
But, I can't incrypt this keeper
Though I squashed him beyond decay
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DKTOS? - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
For those who Don't Know The Original Song, it's temporarily available at
Red Ant - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS? Hardly! Good job varying the choruses though some of this I admittedly didn't get. I did this OS a while back myself:
Peter Andersson - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Red Ant: Maybe I should have put a hint in the intro, that it helps to think along the lines of the horror TV-series "Tales from the Crypt" and the so called Crypt Keeper constantly appering in the intros and sometimes outros of its eppys.

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