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Song Parodies -> "Take Too Long to Ship a Thing"

Original Song Title:

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"

Original Performer:

Aerosmith

Parody Song Title:

"Take Too Long to Ship a Thing"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sometimes it takes a while for a delivery to get, well, delivered. This, however, is taking the piss...
It's been quite a wait for this a-and I'm see-eethi-in'
There's "a whi-ile", this is "you're sleepin'"
Honestly-y, this is demeani-in'
I've been waitin' for this package fore-eve-er
But it's ge-ettin' to be real clo-ose to "ne-eve-er"
I'm just hopin' I-I won't ha-ave to return it to se-ender

Check the mailbo-ox at five
Latest you deli-i-iver, see-ee
It's still friggin' empty
You take too long to ship a thi-ing
Not the first time you've da-awdled, du-ude (come on, geez)
You'd think with how I ca-alled you ru-ude
You would speed up, buddy
Still takes too long to ship a thi-ing

Look out my windo-ow, nothin's what I'm see-eei-in'
Before you-ou ask, ain't the weekend
Sick of the bills I'm receivin'
Still waitin' for what I ordered back in Decembe-er
So Mr. Postman, I ask you
Get off your ass, deli-ive-er, you'd better delive-e-er

I ordered this stu-uff online
And it said four-to-o-o-six wee-eeks
What a load of bullshit
Takin' too long to ship a thi-ing
I know it's gone cross-cou-ountry, du-ude (come on, geez)
It shouldn't take eight mo-onths, it's true-ue
Don't tell me you've lost it
You take too long to ship a thi-ing

I know it's had to travel mi-i-iles
But it's still not in my mitts
Wait, you're witholdin' it, aren't you?
This delay i-is delib'rate
I don't deserve tha-at crap, no-o-o
Just cause I mailed my waste one ti-i-ime
That was for previ-ious bu-ullshit
Just give to me what's mi-ine
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Give me the fo-orm to sign
Write my name so-o-o shaky-y
I'm on to you, buddy
Don't take that long to ship a thi-ing
It's all gotta be cau-ause of you-ou (come on, geez)
No fault of mine, should kno-ow it's true-ue
Stop your lyin', buddy
Can't take that long to ship a thi-ing

Revenge for imagined sli-ights
Still got bear traps o-on your fee-eet
That's what you get, buddy
Takin' that long to ship a thi-ing
Cause you did me wrong first, you douche
So until you give up the goods
I'll throw shoes at you, buddy
Stop the bullcrap and ship my thi-ing
If I opened my eyes
I'd see it right at my feet? Shit
You already shipped my thing

Was thinking about having the thing the guy was being a shit over it's late delivery be totally inconsequential, but I think I've done that twist a bit too often. Sure, "it was there the whole time" isn't too much higher on the list of parody twists, but still.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Glad you posted this, because I just got your package. It got shipped to 555 AMIRIGHT St. LOL
Jonathan - August 02, 2016 - Report this comment
I can actually relate to how this guy felt somewhat of course the package DID just take a long time to ship rather than being there the whole time but after a long wait I finally got my "Attack Of The '30s Characters!" cartoon DVD! LOL! anyway I personally prefer the Mark Chesnutt version of the OS to Aerosmith's but with the guy's anger in this parody and everything it was almost a better fit to use Steven Tyler's screeching vocals! good job! 5's

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