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Song Parodies -> "Dread Dread Signs"

Original Song Title:

"Red Red Wine"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

UB40

Parody Song Title:

"Dread Dread Signs"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

An ode to a man's frustration with genre blindness in horror films.
Dread, dread si-ign
Folks so braindea-ea-ead
Seen no films in their life
Guessin' that's so-oo-o
Dread, dread si-i-ign
Should know they're scre-e-ewed
Don't go that way, you dunce
That's the wrong roa-oo-aod
Not a shortcut, do-ope

Horror fi-ilms, ev'ry ti-ime
The characters are so de-ense
They choose wro-o-o-ong then they die
Because they never no-otice
Dread, dread si-i-igns
The castle kee-ee-eep
Bats flyin' from all pores
It's so bleak and da-a-ark
They do-on't depa-art

No, you do-orks, read the si-ign
"The Castle Of Blood And Dea-eath"
Now, that do-o-o-oesn't seem nice
But you keep plowin' a-ahead
Dread, dread si-i-ign
They can't hear me-e-e
I know that, I'm not dumb
But I still facepa-a-alm
When the-ey fail ha-ard

Dread, dread signs appearin' all the time
But they ignore 'em, dumb as a swine
Dread, dread signs, that dude's a vampire, man
He's paler than a comic nerd and he's no wine fan
Dread, dread signs, see your cart-driver man?
Cack-l-in' like crazy, he's a real maniac
Dread, dread signs, get out the cart, fast-like
Don't just ask him "a tad slower, if you'd mind" (dread, dread si-i-igns)
Dread, dread signs, it isn't too hard to think
Those aren't mosquito bites, you utter dinks (just get a clue-ue-ue)
Dread, dread signs, if you die to the vamp, bud
Though that would suck, I can't say I would care that much
Dread, dread signs, you stake him right through the heart
No, through the heart, don't attack his arms
Dread, dread signs, you deserve to die
Dread, dread signs, and I won't even cry, yeah

(Zombie ho-ordes)
Don't you know the signs when the dead start to rise (come to li-ife)?
No, it's not pinkeye, this is not South Park, guys (so dumb, dude)
So genre blind all I can do is sigh (they're the undea-ead)
Roll both my eyes as you all die
Dread, dread signs, don't you know that a bite
Can make you become a zombie, you dumbshites?
Your brain's slow, how can you not know?
Is this some parallel universe of schmoes (dread, dread si-i-igns)?
Dread, dread signs, maybe that is a big clue
Reason you dudes just don't know what to do (makes sense to me-e-e)
Dread, dread signs, seems you don't notice them, here's why:
Your world has no fright'nin' films, but I (yes, there's always a "but")
Dread, dread signs aren't subtle, that's no lie
If you don't say those films aren't common sights (play the "bullshit" ca-a-ard)
Then all that I
Can say, bud, is you just suck (brains i-in your a-arse)

(I'm not fo-orced)
Watch films all the time 'cause they help me unwind (can't unwi-ind)
Unless they are shite, then I'd be disinclined ('fraid it's true)
To feel real fine, but I can hear you whine (comments I've rea-ead)
"If you don't like it, don't watch shite!"
Dread, dread signs would still get pushed aside
And I'm not the only person who'd despise
The way folks in these films are dopes
I'd prefer stupidity to remain low (dread, dread si-i-igns)
Dread, dread signs hurtin' my cinema love
And that of others so I'm not usin' kid gloves (no sympathy-y-y)
Dread, dread signs are a real sign of hack art
Cause they impart a lack of real smarts (assumes that we're all schmucks)
Dread, dread signs show that the creators think
That we can't think, gotta say that it stinks
Dread, dread signs, we have brains and eyes
Dread, dread signs, wish you would go bye-bye, yeah

Dread, dread signs, ev'ry character's blind
Can't take this bollocks ev'ry damn time (dread, dread si-i-igns)
Dread, dread signs, the writing's just so bland
When ev'ry other sentence is "What the hell was that?" (stop bein' chea-ea-eap)
Dread, dread signs, don't go that way, you prat
It's like clockwork, I wouldn't bet money on that

I only recently found out that this song is a cover of a Niel Diamond track. Watered-down reggae or easy-listening acoustic rock...dunno which is more boring, TBH. Though I do get some slight amusement out of singing the title line in the cover as "red red WAAAA" due to the lead singer's accent. I'm easily amused.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Arwen - October 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Haha...as a true fan of classic horror movies, this gets my seal of approval...from behind my hands covering my eyes...shaking my head at the stupidity of the characters. Nice work!! :)

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