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Song Parodies -> "Purim Wrapping"

Original Song Title:

"Christmas Wrapping"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Waitresses

Parody Song Title:

"Purim Wrapping"

Parody Written by:

MasonR

The Lyrics

The background: The OS is my favorite Xmas song, and Purim's my favorite Jewish holdiay. So, let's mash the two up and see what happens. The scene: New York's Upper West Side--where there's a major singles scene. The date: Purim, 1981 (5765 in the Jewish calendar), 'cause 81 is referenced in the OS. Lots of Jewish references here, a guide to the perplexed is at the end. Now, imagine a single Orthodox Jewish woman singing...
"Boo Haman!" I shout out strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But winter was a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
I'll tell the whole megillah.
The perfect thing for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, Catskills
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '65 passed along those lines.

So costume on, hide those knees
Chill some Samuel Adams beer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Purim at my shul this year.

Calendar picture, frying latkes,
Greased my kitchen for eight days,
Dreidel games, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to Pesach, saw him again,
Wanted to share an unleavened lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til Tisha B'av,
After the fast, could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Just received my law degree.

Now the shpeil is ready to go
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to think too much about it.

Happy Purim! Happy Purim
But I'll still be on my own this year.
Happy Purim! Happy Purim
But I'll still be on my own this year.

Running, dashing to the shul
Cause I'm running way to late
Last minute have-to-do's
Making Shalach Manot
Go to singles dances?
No thanks, no party lights
It's the fast of Esther, gonna relax
Eating's what I'd really like.

Rosh Hashanah, coulda kicked myself,
Same guy called, apples and honey,
Tashlich, waited for him to show,
Couldn't walk, he stubbed his toe,

Forget it, I'm starved, it's getting late,
Megillah reading's over? Great.
Heading home to unwind
Quiet Purim dinner time.

H&M has provided me
With the world's greatest bagels
Just out of the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the shoes, back out in the dark
To all-night Kosher grocery,
When what to my groggy eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot the Hamentaschen too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
Like Esther's book this song now has
A very happy ending!

Happy Purim! Happy Purim
Friends will tell us "Mazel Tov" this year.
Happy Purim! Happy Purim
Friends will tell us "Mazel Tov" this year.
Happy Purim! Happy Purim
Friends will tell us "Mazel Tov" this year.
Happy Purim! Happy Purim
Friends will tell us "Mazel Tov" this year.
A guide for the perplexed:
Haman: The antagonist in the Book of Esther (the Megillah) which is read on Purim
Pesach: The Hebrew word for Passover
Shul: Synagogue in Yiddish
Shalach Manot: Gifts of food that are traditionally given out on Purim
Fast of Esther: A fast the day before Purim.
Tashlisch: A prayer said at a body of water during Rosh Hashanah. Jewish singles often do serious socializing here.
H&M: The best Bagel bakery in Manhattan
Hamentaschen: Triangle-shaped pastries traditionally eaten on Purim.
...BTW, Purim starts Monday Night!
Parody by Mason "Happy Purim!" Resnick

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Sharon "Parodiva" Krebs - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Mason! All 5's! I'll be singing the chorus of this song when I go for Purim Megillah reading at my (Reform) temple in my "Brashlee Simpson" costume. (I can't sing well, either--that's why I sing parodies--so people are entertained by my words and not my voice.)
John Barry - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but fives I'll give you. My wife got me a Yiddish-English dictionary for my birthday, but, oy vey! she didn't look carefully. The Yiddish terms aren't transliterated; they're all printed in the Hebrew alphabet, which I'm going to try to learn.
QC79 - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Great job and lots of close parallels to the OS. My favorite is how you changed "Sunburn in the first degree" to "Just received my law degree". 555s! Oh...and HAPPY PURIM!
MasonR - March 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Sharon--I like your costume idea! John, QC--Thanks!
MIKE - December 25, 2010 - Report this comment
P@RTY

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