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Song Parodies -> "The Awful Truth About Hannah Montana"

Original Song Title:

"Abracadabra"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Steve Miller Band

Parody Song Title:

"The Awful Truth About Hannah Montana"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

The Hannah Montana movie - cryptically titled "Hannah Montana: The Movie" - opens today. Drown out the screams with this Robert Lund recording.
I stand up, my pants fall down
I get arrested and dragged downtown
I'm waterboarded, and when it stops
I've got this message for the cops:

While you waste your time with me
An evil blonde is running free
Underneath her headset and sequins
Lurks a true juvenile deliquent!

Hannah, Hannah Montana
Carjacked my van in Tarzana
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Bitch-slapped my Nana

[FACT: The city of Sidney, Montana, was named for six-year-old Sidney Walters. Were it instead named after Sidney's sister, the city's name would be Hannah, Montana.]

She may look cute, she may look nice
But she's invaded Belgium twice
She runs on battery - and assault
And global warming is all her fault

Hannah, Hannah Montana
Imports her hash from Havana
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Burned down Atlanta

[FACT: Before settling on the name "Hannah Montana," Disney executives considered "Shasta Nebraska," "Melanoma Oklahoma," and "Regina Saskatchewan."]

She started typhoid and M.S.
And the global economic mess
Don't tell my achy breaky heart
That her music makes me shart

Hannah, Hannah Montana
Hates all Arquettes but Rosanna
Hannah, Hannah Montana
Smoked my banana

[FACT: "Hannah" spelled backwards is "Hannah." "Miley" spelled backwards is "Yelim," a town in Sierra Leone notorious for Internet fraud.]

Every time an earthquake hits
Guess who is having giggle fits?
Hey, tweens: Our lawyers require us
To say Beware of the Miley Virus!

Hannah, Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana!

[FACT: If Miley Cyrus married Peter Coyote, she'd be Miley Coyote. If she married Noah Wyle, she'd be Miley Wyle. If she married Bill O'Reilly, she'd be institutionalized.]



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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 5
 5
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 2
 3
 
 5   25
 25
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Spaffer! "Miley Coyote" "Miley Virus". Loved how you twisted so many things into this parody. But Shasta Nebraska? Too funny. You lost me with "Regina Saskatchewan" but then I never paid much attention to Hannah except for some of the things that hit the news about her. As is usual for you, this is way over the top. Well done.
Arwen - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I remember you mentioning you had a Hannah Montana parody in the works, but this exceeded all of my expectations. Too funny, Spaff...still laughing. Guy snatched my favorite bit..."Regina Saskatchewan," but the whole thing was just hilarious.
Matthias - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant as usual Spaff. Too many funny lines I too loved the out of nowhere "Regina Saskatchewan" and "Miley Virus" as well as "If she married Bill O'Reilly, she'd be institutionalized" and "She runs on battery - and assault" (And great timing as usual because 1000000s of little girls are flocking to see that god-awful movie today, including me! Just kidding, you couldn't pay me to see that... I'll wait for it to come out on DVD)
Below Average Dave - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I read another Hannah Montana spoof recently in a SOTM, and I loved it, this one is just as good--and knowing what I do about your work, there's a good chance we'll get to hear this one too. . .Nice use of original, I hate Hannah Montana--she pretends to be some role model to little kids, when in reality she's just a b*tch with a microphone.
Claude Prez - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I saw an episode of "Hannah Montana" once, and this is just as funny. No lie. Anyway, TMGLTM and all that; you really went the extra- oh, never mind.
Harry - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow! unbelievably funny! Kudos to you. smoked my banana...I just about fell off my chair reading that alone...hey...what about Magilla Gorilla? LOL. Nice job.
TJC - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Just excellent in all its forms... perhaps you, and not Howard Stern, are the 'King of All Media'!
alvin - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
uproariously goofy...love it !
2Eagle - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
If she married Tom Cruise she would want to go on one. If she married Brad her life would be the Pitts. If she married Angelina she would be a les, a stepmom to too many kids, and she wouldn't be very "Jolie".
Guy - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't know which is better - Spaff's parody or the comment made by 2Eagle. ;-)
Mark Scotti - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Great one!!! Disney loves to crank out these Pima Donnas. She needs a good bashing...
Jonathan S. - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Perhaps your next one could be "The 7 Things About Miley Cyrus That Annoy Me."
(An anti-Hannah spoof of a Miley Cyrus song would be enjoyably ironic.)
As for this one, it gets 555 screaming fans.
Harry - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Bash away, Mark...she needs a good one...
Amanda - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank you!
dee range - April 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Need a great parody? Just say "Abracadabra", and up pops Mr. Spaff. If you wrote one of these daily, you'd be our next president.
Jack Wilson - April 12, 2009 - Report this comment
AWESOME, AWESOME,AWESOME!!! 555
adagio - April 12, 2009 - Report this comment
You had me up to the last sentence: ). The pacing was excellent, although and very easy to follow. I liked it.:)
Stuart McArthur - April 12, 2009 - Report this comment
ha! the whole thing was hilarious, but I esp. loved the factoids and the Bill O'Reilly jab - 555
Spaff.com - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
If Miley Cyrus married Guy DiRito, she'd be Guy's Miley.
If Arwen married Artoo Detoo, she'd be R1D2.
If Matthias married Mariah Carey, he'd be Mariah's Matthias.
If Bo Derek married Below Average Dave, she'd be 10 Below.
If Dr. Detroit and the band Free married Claude Prez, they'd be Detroit-Free-Prez.
If Harry married into Florence Henderson's family, they'd be Harry and the Hendersons.
If TJC married a hooker, they'd be TJC-Hooker.
If an animated flying squirrel married Alvin Rhodes, it'd be Rocky Rhodes.
If Scout Willis married 2Eagle, she'd be 2Eagle's Scout.
If Mark Scotti married Lara Croft in Tomb Raider, they'd be Hottie, Scotti, and the Illuminati.
If Paris Hilton married Benji Madden and then Jonathan S, she'd be P.M.S.
If Sal Mineo married Amanda, they'd be Sal-Amanda.
If Radar O'Reilly married Dee Range, he'd be Radar Range.
If Jack Wilson married Jessica Rabbit, he'd be Jack Rabbit.
If Adagio married a marionette, she'd be Adagio for Strings.
If Stuart McArthur married some pork, they'd be Pork-Stu and/or McArthur-Pork.
Guy Smiley - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Good one Spaff and thanks for giving me top billing. ;-) Your mind must be a total mess because the adage is "Creative minds are rarely tidy". Love what you do Spaff.
Guy - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
See what you started 2Eagle? And I just had to call attention to it by comparing your comment to the parody. And now that I look, I got top billing because all the mad match-ups are done in the order that the commentors wrote them. It's hard to get ahead of Spaff - it's harder to stay ahead of him.
Tim Hall - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Absolutely brilliant!
2Eagle - April 14, 2009 - Report this comment
If one of the Care Bears married John Barry she would be Care Barry.
Spoof-Man - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
LOVE IT!!! I'm a big Steve Miller fanand i can't stand Hanna Montana so this song work's out great...someone needs to parody the Steve Miller song, 'The Jocker', Some people call me the space cowboy, Somepeople call me the gangster of love!
white trash - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
i myself can't stand the debauchery that hannah shows in her music
Spaff.com - June 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanx again, Guy & 2Eagle!

If Tim Hall married the Quaker mascot, they'd be Hall & Oats.
If Spoof-Man married Spencer & Heidi, they'd be Speidi-Man.
If white trash married Taylor Swift, she'd be Taylor Trash.
McGehee - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Miley Cyrus would never marry Bill O'Reilly. Babwa Wawa might, but if she did Pete Townshend would sue.
white trash - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
thank you my taylor swift compendium could blow you away miley virus more sickening than the flu virus more deadly than the T-virus and more scary than the aids virus
Spaff.com - August 15, 2009 - Report this comment
McGehee: If Baba Wawa married Bill O'Reilly, she'd be Baba O'Reilly. Sweet! And if she married Forrest Gump....

white trash: Speaking of the Who, watch out for the World Health Organization's announcement about the Billy Ray Virus.
Christie Marie M - August 15, 2009 - Report this comment
While we're talking marriage name games, if Emilio Estevez married a sole (fish), it'd be O-Sole-Emilio! And if Devon Werkheiser married some Continental Airline heiress, she'd be Devon-Air (or better yet, Devon-Heir)! Nice take on Hannah Montana, Spaff! Perfect choice for the OS! Works very well. I don't listen to Hannah Montana very much, to be honest. (Devon Werkheiser is an actor from the show "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide" on Nickelodeon, for those who don't know).
Spaff.com - August 16, 2009 - Report this comment
If Christie Marie M formed a triad with Public Enemy and Eminem, and they all became a water dwelling, predatory animal of the order Actiniaria, they would be a...

CMM & Enemy & Eminem Anemone
Andria - August 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job, Spaff, and some 5s are coming your way. About Hannah Montana, I don't think she's all that great, to say the least. The Jonas Brothers are an improvement, albeit very slightly. IMHO, there are few, if any real talents in teenage musicians and writers. (Silver Power, DJ Blaze and the others here at AmIRight excepted, of course, although I have a bias toward always giving them 5s and complimenting their work.)
Spaff.com - August 17, 2009 - Report this comment
If Andria married a Double Stuf cookie, she'd be Andria d'Oreo.
DJ Blaze - August 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Spaff: If DJ Blaze married EmiLoca, I'd be.... the happiest man on earth. LOL! (Darn you, Matthias!!! Just kidding.) Great parody, and this is a comment from someone who is NOT a Hannah Montana fan. 555
Andria: Thanks for mentioning me on this parody. Putting me up there with Silver Power is an honor in itself.
Andria - August 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, DJ... I would feel the same if my name were to be mentioned along with, say, Airfarcewon, Alvin Rhodes, Mark Scotti, Tommy Turtle, Guy DiRito, and of course, Spaff.com. And about the pun on my name: I've got another one, only slightly less funny: If I were to marry a famous artist Thomas Yeats, I would be Andria Yeats: the infamous Texan mass child murderer, with enough letters in my/her name changed to fool people.
Spaff.com - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
DJ: If you married a programming language, you'd be Blaze Pascal.

Andria: If she got hold of you, you'd be Raggedy Andria.
Jack Wilson - September 03, 2013 - Report this comment
This needs a recording with possibly new verses now

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