What now Jedi knights?
All the Sith are dead
And you're getting old
On the sofa
When you want a snack or cold brew
You just levitate it to you
Obiwan has really taught you well

Jedi knights disperse
Move out to the 'burbs
Buy a little house
You can always
Be a hero to your neighbor
Start his grill with your lightsaber
Obiwan has really taught you well

On their porches, retired Jedi
Use their skills to keep youngsters off their lawns
With a force push that sends them flying

You're getting dates with young chicks
By using Jedi mind tricks
Obiwan has really taught you well

With your Jedi precognition
Won't miss "Alf" on television
Obiwan has really taught you well

Fam'ly will never never never never slight you
You Force them all to write you
Obiwan has really taught you well

Eating bran and prunes and lettuce
To avoid a great disturbance
Obiwan has really taught you well