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Song Parodies -> "Scales"

Original Song Title:

"Stand"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

REM

Parody Song Title:

"Scales"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Stand on your digital scales
Wait for it
Think about the number
That will show up on the display
Now scream when you see what you weigh
Wail and curse
Think about the cake that you ate
Wonder why you did it again

If you find that your pants are too tight
Here's some advice to help make it right
Instead of fighting the shape of your pose
Just head on out and buy some new clothes

Stand on your digital scales
Start to cringe
Waiting for the number
That is larger than yesterday
Now cry when you see what you weigh
It's not fair
Think about your younger days and
Wonder how you always stayed thin

Your feet are going to carry your weight
Your head is there to clean off your plate
If wishes were pounds, the pounds would be falling
Hear the temptation, ice cream is calling

Stand on your digital scales
Hear them groan
Wonder if the number
Will be larger than it displays
Then stare when you see what it says
Oh my God
Got to get some will power and
Diet 'til you take it all off

So Atkins or Zone or maybe Weight Watchers
Or Jenny Craig
Or Protein Power
Your plan is going to take off the pounds
Unless, of course, there's cookies around

So stand (stand)
Face the Fridge
Think about what's in there, wonder if there's boston cream pie
Then eat (eat)
'Til you're stuffed
(Take a nap)
Wonder what'll happen if you
Can't fit through the doorway

Stand on your digital scales
If you can
Wonder if you'll ever
Get to have just one chin again
Head for the neighborhood store
Need more food
The aisles seem so narrow now
The carts just don't hold enough

Stand on your digital scales (hear them crack)
Stand on your digital scales (hear them break)
Your feet no longer can move you around (stand on your digital scales)
You've reached the point of maximum pounds, so stand.
If you don't like this parody, you'll certainly hate my other ones (which can be found by clicking on "Parody Authors" and finding my name).

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 2
 1
 
 5   17
 15
 16
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Serafina - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought this one was really clever!
White Ant - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
So did I.
Rick C - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
As did I but, is this about me?
Red Ant - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
( SOTM )- DRTOS well enough to vote but it is funny.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This grew on me as it progressed. Very good construction of rhymes and pacing, and you changed every chorus. 555
Scathe - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm not terribly weight conscious, but fairly humor conscious. Good job, Rex.
Charlie Decker - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job. A good wieght parody is always welcome!
Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already voted, commented
Jeff Reuben - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Didn't see it right away, but it was worth the weight!
Dee Range - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
555...Love food and weight parodies, and this is excellent. SOTM
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I read this just after 2nz entry, that added some extra pounds of imagery and laughs to the experience. :-)
Arwen - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--funny stuff, Rex!
Guy - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You can tell that you have a problem when your digi-scale's LED readout says "To be continued" or goes into E-notation.
Spaff.com - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
"Ice cream is calling" - heh heh - story of my life, man. Nice job.
Melhi - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job with this!
John Jenkins - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Rex. Your parody shows that the best way to deal with excessive weight gain is the BBC program - Buy Bigger Clothes.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Great structure and kudos for having different choruses each time. Nice job.
Johnny D - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Heavy, indeed!
Stuart McArthur - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS but can certainly relate - nice one Rex
Kristof Robertson - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) 555 sticks of celery for you, fatboy! ;-)
Claude Prez - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
"Your head is there to clean off your plate". Whoa. Truer words were never spoken. Very good.
Phil Alexander - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
:-)
MysteryGoat - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS
2nz - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but carry that weight Rex. Still enjoyable as a free read. I enjoyed "Your head is there to clean off your plate" and the "pounds/cookies around" couplet especially
Tim Mayfield - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) well done.

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