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Song Parodies -> "Contusion"

Original Song Title:

"Confusion"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

New Order

Parody Song Title:

"Contusion"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Otherwise known as a bruise, which this man is friggin' loaded with...
Contusion, contusion
Contusion, contusion

Got a few, believe me
Will I show you? If you want, but please
Not a pleasant sight, see
What happens when tiny vessels bleed

You may know the feeling, but I've had way more
Don't sit there poking cause you won't last long
Asshole, refrain cause each one really hurts
I'm pretty sure that's something you should already know

(Contusion) Lots of bruises on me
And I showed you, you kept begging me
(Contusion) I kinda bruise easy
The slightest nick spreads purple, you see
(Contusion) Scared to let you see me (don't look at me, don't look at me)
The Purple Man with no Tennant, see (don't look at me, it's not fun for me)
(Contusion) I thought you'd be queasy (don't look at me, don't look at me)
Not a poking douche, so quit it, please (don't look at me, stop the poking, please)

Got all these contusions, some from wonky stairs
Some from finding tables in the dark with shins
Some from pretending that my ass was blind
Results are still pending which painkiller's fine
Which painkiller's fine, which painkiller's fine

(Contusion, contusion) Purple mess, believe me
It's not "cool" or "badass" or "real sweet"
(Contusion, contusion) Shit just hurts, believe me
I would show you if I lacked bruised feet

I thought you'd help me, seems that was a lie
More luck asking spiders to stop eating the flies
I was sure that I told you that I'm no fan of pain
Hands off, 'less you're off'rin' to take up my place

(Contusion, contusion) Purple hands, believe me
Any skin that was spared soon won't be
(Contusion, contusion) My luck really hates me
Tiny vessels so eager to bleed

Don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please), don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please)
Fingers off, please (fingers off, please) quit that, leave me be (quit that, leave me be)
Don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please), don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please)
I've asked you, please (I've asked you, please) piss off, leave me be (be)
Don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please), don't touch me, please (don't touch me, please)
Why can't you please (why can't you please) stop and leave me be (woo!)?
You ass, you ass, you ass, you ass
You ass, you ass, you ass, you ass
You ass, you ass, you ass, you ass

I've probably had more bruises than cuts in my life, mostly because while I'm careful around sharp things, I'm not very co-ordinated.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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