I said you wanna use oxymorons
If not then you may be morons
I know you wanna use oxymorons
Or go and make fun of mormons

With your dumb, plastic glasses (can’t see)
Those fireproof matches (dammit)
I think you’re a butt head (butt head)
With backwards advances (wack-bards)

Some reluctant compliance (that hurts)
Political science (fund raise)
Good grief, your demeanor (grief’s good)
On non-dairy creamer (loser)

When you talk of your business ethics
I can tell that board room is hectic
Come on, head back to the street
Go out and have some bad sex

Buy unsalted Saltines
Watch these living dead scenes
Tell me what ‘taped live’ means
You know you wanna use oxymorons

A governmental organization
Supports your working vacation
I said your software documentation
Is genuine imitation

In the structure of programs (ha, ha)
The driving of Dodge Rams (crash, crash)
And almost exactly (wait, what?)
Impersonal crotch-cams (yes, wait…)

Some plain coffee at Dunkin’ (Venti)
While legally drunken (I’ll drive)
Twelve ounces of pound cake (all gone)
You ate on your work break (time’s up)

You say we’re alone together
While you sit, predicting weather
Sweet sorrow can’t make it better
She demanded that you let her

Watching all the sperm whales
I think they’re adult males
shorten up all of your tall tales
I’ve heard it’s fast as snail mail

I said a kinda numb feeling hugs me
When playing non-contact rugby
I have decided she’s pretty ugly
But nothing much really bugs me

Maybe drop your supporters (splat, splat)
A whole bunch of quarters (free games)
Deliberately thoughtless (OK)
Unbiased reporters (sure, NOT)

A dishonest confession (fooled you)
And passive aggression (yes, but…)
Try silently screaming (…)
It’s terribly pleasing (sure is)

Knowing mystery (Are you pissed at me)
Wrongly factual (Read the manual)
Current history (She was kissing me)
Dressing casual (maybe after all)
He’s refined and rude (And a punny dude)
So act natural (Like an animal)
Here’s some airline food (They all cursed and booed)
Maybe vegetables… ugh

Now this guy just said same diff-rence
And he taught me how to inf-rence
See, he wears unscented perfume
And he calls himself a bridegroom

Someone had a Sweet Tart
Quality at Wal-Mart
Take this liquid gas part
You dream of using these oxymorons

They say they educate on T-vision
They’re programming was found missing
We are together in this division
But only while jumbo shrimping

Anything that soft rocks me (really?)
When passages block me (Turn back)
Some feminine logic (ha ha)
Original copies (pre-owned)

I am wearing some tight slack (low-cut)
My estimate’s exact (kind of)
What spending will save me (need stuff)
A definite maybe (sort of)

Have a silent voice (In a rolling Royce)
Vegan cannibal (Is he passable?)
Make the only choice (Then go out, rejoice)
Still mechanical (And maniacal)
A computer jock (In his uber socks)
Newly classical (I am sick of rhymes)
It’s around the block (Scissor-ed paper rocks)
Freely radical… (huh?)

If you’re fresh food is frozen ()
As I was suppozin’ ()
You can’t put thoze in ()
Come on, fresh isn’t frozen ()

He’s an honest lawyer
And she’s a peaceful war-ior
Hopelessly optimistic
I understand it’s mystic

The military intelligences
Attack with their armed defenses
Now here’s a temporary tax increase
And forces to help with world peace

Stationery is moving (Slow down)
High-price sales are proving (SALE HERE)
Attracting a small crowd (queue up)
Uncomfortably soothing (Lower)

When you get freezer burning (cool it)
This straight has some turning (damn roads)
The wrong way is right-y (two wrongs)
So go left, and rightly (three lefts)

This isn’t what I need
I think it’s plastic wood
My words they didn’t heed
Clearly misunderstood
It’s unbelievable
This gas it tested, it’s
Synthetic natural
By Christian Scientists

Here’s one more

So they say
That it Works
At Microsoft
So they say
There are jerks
At Microsoft
The revenge
Of the Turks
At Microsoft
So they say
That it Works
At Microsoft

(Microsoft repeats [its mistakes] )