Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Free Tits"

Original Song Title:

"Beat It"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Free Tits"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Look in my inbox, there's some e-mails here
They're offering free money, an' even free beer
There's lots of pix of chicks, from the front and from the rear
There's free tits - yeah, free tits

Mailwasher run, gonna do what I can
Don't wanna see no blood-y useless ****ing spam
Deleting ain't tough - gonna chuck 'em in the can
'cept free tits - guess they ain't so bad

Are free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Who don't want a freebie, see tits?
Don't want viagra, don't want rewards
Don't want ten million quid from abroad
Just free tits, free tits

They're out in public, they've been sent by email
Unfortunately seen by kiddies (and females)
You wanna stay alive, better zap 'em without fail
No free tits, no free tits

You want to hide them but you're uncertain how
Your children are much better at computers now
Discreter to delete a picture of some funky frau
Delete it - but you don't wanna get rid

Of free tits! free tits! free tits!
But they gotta be deleted
Showin' off boobies is rather rude
Pictures discovered, would be a boob

Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often must I repeat it?
Showin' off boobies - dodgy and lewd
It look like somebody's mum in the nude

Delete it! free tits! free tits! free tits!
That's the way it must be treated
Thin, skin and bone-y but there's a risk
Big, siliconey boobs on your disk
Delete it - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!

Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often is this repeated?
(Jeez, but it's boring, ain't it, this song?
Chorus repeated, on, on and on)

There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
B, C, double-D and E-tits
Little or chunky, tiny or huge
Inbox is full of a whole deluge

Of free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Excess has just been exceeded
From Widow Twankey down to Boy George
There's even Boxters - topless by Porsche
There's free tits - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!

Free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Working class and bourgeoisie tits
Also a monkey (was it an ape?)
Jaw is a-dropping, watching agape

There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Celebrate the jubilee-tits
(Am I still going? Oh, yeah, you bet
I can't believe it's not over yet)

There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Florida and Tennessee tits
(Now sounding clunky, and impolite
Thank **** at last the end is in sight)

There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Ev'ry size - a potpourri - tits
There's free tits, free tits,
Free tits, free tits

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   25
 25
 25
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Chris Pollman - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Hahaha, nice. 555
Below Average Dave - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Pushing the line again eh Phil? BJ just wasn't enough. You know what's really funny, you took a Michael Jackson song (who is all about boys) and turned it into a mature female song, the exact opposite of what the artist is into and turning Beat It into something sexual was begging to be done, so bravo on that.
TJC - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Titillating to the max! There's no padding in these D-couplets!
Jack Wilson - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Double D size 555 ( man those tits would be HUGE)
alvin - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
bouncy...i like it
John Barry - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
As opposed to fee tits.
Kristof Robertson - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Bloody hilarious, Mr Alexander! The more laboured the "free tits" rhymes became (Florida and Tennessee tits...hee!) the harder I laughed. Bravo! 555+
Ann Hammond - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
what B A D said
Phil Alexander - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, everybody :-)

Dave - I didn't think this one was "pushing the line" that hard - there've been a lot of paro-titties, so to speak.. I did wonder about doing a parody to this song about autoeroticism without even changing the title.

TJC/Jack - it's not natural, though: definitely surgically enhanced when compared to the original

JB - are those what you have on the end of your leg-its?

Kristof - I couldn't believe how many repeated choruses there are at the end of this song - it goes on for frigging *hours*. Well, minutes, anyway.
Below Average Dave - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Yeah, this could be one heck of a parody without even changing the title I could see that.
AFW - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This holds up firm and funny
Chris Bodily TM - June 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You don't really need to put down every chorus, as most of the end choruses aren't even sung, though they appear on the album sleeve. Great title sub, great concept, hilarious execution! TMGLTM, This is Double-D quality humor right here! 555
Agrimorfee - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
You get what you pay for. Loved the risqueness and the efforts on the chorus changes...555
McKludge - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) With prick, piss, and now tits, there are only 4 dirty words you can't say on TV. At least in the states. Stick it to the FCC-tits! 555.
I was so hoping for a security code of 36C or 42D.
Peter Andersson - June 17, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Let it all hang out!

McKludge: Loved your security code joke! :-)
Max Power - June 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Great and the code is CH4 which reminds me of 4chan.
stuart mcarthur - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) another hilarious tits parody to add to "See Your Chest" and others, Phil - firstly, "Don't want ten million quid from abroad" was just sublime, and I loved the boney/siliconey rhyme, but my favourite aspect was the way you were working that rhyming dictionary to within an inch of its life to get "....Tennessee tits" "..........jubilee tits" and ".......potpourri tits" - I love those wink-to-the-reader gags - 555
bobpiecheese - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I LIKE BOOBIES! Fine words for a 16-year-old...great work Phil!
Matthias - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I loved the line about making fun of the original song, that was clever and classy.
wannabemustangjockey - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wow, an OS I hate turned into a song about something every straight guy loves!
The Charnstar - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
O... MG... I think we found our winner folks. This may have even been better than Eat It... Also, hehehehe, you said Tit... hehehe... I am not immature! 5-5-5
Below Average Dave - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, Phil, I think I said my piece on this, you are king of non-inuendo sexually non-explicit parodies, one of my favorites by you to date, and the OS was just begging to be turned sexual (I mean, even in '82 people referred to beatting it in a sexual connontation)
Jason - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Blistering effort indeed. 555
Kristof Robertson - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. You already know I love, love, love this, Phil...so knowing, so faux-stupid, so gloriously silly. Just mam-nificent.
Jack Wilson - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
See above! Man twop MJ parodies two months in a row
Chris Frederick - July 01, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Great one. Very, very funny, and nice work dealing with Mr.(?) Jackson's endless string of choruses.
Chris Frederick - July 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, it may be worth noting - but probably isn't - that the security code for my last comment was 58F. The heck with 42D; we're talking Eccentricia Gallumbits here.
Red Ant - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Again, some damned fine rhyming, Phil. Funny work, TMGLTM. Like Dave said, kudos for turning this song around 180*.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
So where can we see the video for this one? Hilarious idea and execution :)
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY- Always love a good dirty parody. Very well done, Phil.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/michaeljackson150.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 3531