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Song Parodies -> "Camilla"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

After reading Kristof's excellent "The Wreck Of The Latest Royal Wedding", I realized there's a huge amount of comedy potential here still going begging. Apologies in advance for the "why the long face" gag...
He's close to sixty, and planning to get married once again
And is she pretty? If you think that, I reckon you're insane
He tried to scheme, but mumsy thinks his lifelong love's the wrong sort
She won't be queen, in case that causes press and public onslaught
The Princess Consort

'Cause she's Camilla - Prince's Bride
And he won't be denied his royal tit-bit on the side
You know Camilla, Princess Bride
She ain't no Princess Di, and she's no Cilla, Camilla - alright?

They said in Pravda, when Charlie's king, she still will not be queen
Although he's loved her and has done since 'bout eighteen sixty-three
You close your eyes - imagining her stand before the nation
But all the while you're thinking of a horse stood in her place
Why the long face?

'Cause she's Camilla - Prince's Bride
And Charles can give up hunting 'cause he's got a horse to ride
And she's Camilla - Princess Bride
So folks, never say Di, she didn't kill 'er, Camilla - alright?

Press "creatures" call
On the Prince, of all
People, to abdicate
That would be something
He can't do - he ain't king
This time ('cause mum ain't died)
This for the sake of his wife?

They're out to get her, journalists who need something to write
And they beset her, printing ever more invented shite
On the front page: some picture of them cuddled close together
So will she rage? We'll find out how she deals with royal breaks:
Pictures were fakes

'Cause she's Camilla - Prince's Bride
A bit less photogenic than the former Princess Di
And she's Camilla - Princess Bride
She'll wed a prince tonight and watch Godzilla, in a, villa
Camilla.... alright?

(Prince Philip in his best Vincent Price impression:)
Darkness falls across the land
The wedding hour is close at hand
So don't you call my son a spanner
T'was I who made him wed Diana

And don't we all wish that had been
Less of a "fairytale" scene
Because it proved there's little dafter
Than living happily ever after

At least ol' Di begat an heir
'Cause t' new one's getting on in years
And ghouls pour out from every tomb
Ere something comes from that one's womb

But monarchy will stay and thrive
This gal's no institution-killer
Reckon we might just survive
The woman called: Camilla

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melanie Lee - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
MU-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! 4-5-5. BTW, I think she's prettier now than she used to be. My sister said some people grow into their looks, and some people grow out of them.
Royce Miller - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This is a hoot, Phil; really like this one; laughed out loud. You think they might print this on the wedding program?
Kristof Robertson - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved loved LOVED this, Phil...fab rhymes and wordplay...bravo! 555 ps: thanks for the plug...
Steven Cavanagh - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
A suitably creepy song. When WILL Peter O'Toole take off that wig?
pickle - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Can't you just see the press guys doing the zombie dance to this? And Charles doing the 'I'm not like other guys...' spiel.
Jeff Reuben - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
The crown king of parody? Phil, sorry I missed this originally, this was brilliant.
Kim L - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
It's just got to be a trilogy of fives from me on that one.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I was about to try my hand at this one, but why tamper with greatness?
Brady Twins - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!! We get the horse gag! Love this song! (Jim is laughing until he fell off from his chair)

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