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Song Parodies -> "Lapped By Him Twice"

Original Song Title:

"Trapped Under Ice"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Metallica

Parody Song Title:

"Lapped By Him Twice"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Among other faults, I am a slow runner. The best mile I ever ran was 6:30 even. This is how I feel when I do run ( rarely now ) against people who can click off 5:00 miles ( PLURAL ) with no effort.
( intro )

I don't know how to run through this hell
Cramping up, all leg muscles as well
Hurting soles, leaving me with my corns
Lapped me twice, I can't take anymore

Wheezing ( wheezing )
Can't breath at all
Seizing ( seizing )
Ambulance call
I, am trying to run
DEAR GOD!
Got lapped by him twice

Paralyzed, as I lay here at rest
Moved so fast caused a Doppler Effect
At full speed he has broken away
He don't know, out of breath I can't say

Wheezing ( wheezing )
Can't breath at all
Seizing ( seizing )
Ambulance call
I, was trying to run
DEAR GOD!
Got lapped by him twice

( solo )

( SCREAM ) From my hole
( HATE ) Crucified
( He'll ) Forever run

( SCREAM ) From my hole
( HATE ) Crucified
( He'll ) Forever run

( solo )

No relief from this bionic man
What was that? He looked blurry again
Speed of light, cannot move, hurts my knee
Sonic boom knocked the wind out of me

Wheezing ( wheezing )
Can't breath at all
Seizing ( seizing )
Ambulance call
I, was trying to run
DEAR GOD!
Got lapped by him twice

Running ( running )
Body assault
Leaving ( leaving )
Win by default
I, was trying to run
GIVE UP!
I took their advice

( outro )
Muscle cramps suck.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   5
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Rick C - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I feel your pain, RA....5s
Red Ant - May 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick C.
Scrawny Johnny - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Awesome, man!! Don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm a very fast runner. Of course being the scrawny, tall creature that I am, I can be easily compared to having giraffe legs. This is a great parody to a just as equal great song!!
Red Ant - May 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Scrawny Johnny. Yeah, I listened to this again accidentally as I was getting to TCOK and inspiration struck.

We forgot one 8+ minute song on RTL and MOP CDs: Disposable Heros is over 8 minutes as well as MOP, Orion and TCOK.
Peter Andersson a.k.a - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
My best time on the 1500 meters is (or rather was since it dates back to 1985 and I don't run against the clock that way anymore) 5,54,4. You'll get one more 5 than there is in that time.
Red Ant - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Peter.
Johnny D - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I ran cross country in high school. I would try to freak-out the competition by coming up behind them breathing very loudly as if I was about to pass out. Sometimes it seemed to throw them off their pace ... or maybe I was just hallucinating from all the hyperventilation!
Agrimorfee - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Here's looking at high school P.E. (yuch), where the best I managed for the mile was 10-something. Oh well ;/
Adagio - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I felt short of breath from reading this and out of sympathy. :)
Red Ant - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D, Agrimorfee (high school P.E. did blow), and Adagio.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC2005) I shudder at the thought of what Johnny D would have done with a parody called 'Lapped By Him Twice'... this was very well written and rhymed, Red Ant, though I hate to say that in my early years of high school I was one of the athletic jocks (albeit the scrawny one) who went to GPS for High Jump, sprints and our version of the mile. Nowadays, however, I can totally associate with your sentiments!
Scathe - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(L) I'm no athlete myself. Good spoofin'.
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(L) I reckon he might've lapped me thrice by the sounds of him - I like the guy who finishes last in the marathon after doing 5am training runs all year in preparation - he would've been thinking "gee I could've come last, and gotten up at 7am - d'oh!"
Mikey Squirrel - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC-- This one really --pant-- takes --wheeze-- my breath --gasp-- away. :) I can relate. I can't even run down the stairs without hyperventalating nowadays. Good job Red Ant.
Rick C - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) See above
Red Ant - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Luke, Scathe, Stu, Mikey Squirrel and Rick.

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