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Song Parodies -> "Janeway Don't Preach"

Original Song Title:

"Papa Don't Preach"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Janeway Don't Preach"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

With the Star Trek franchise on an official hiatus (at best) I kinda felt that the time had come to clean out such parody ideas from my sketch book, yet I still ended up with three that I couldn't really bring myself to delete from existence so instead I decided to bring them to sick bay, give them a final overhaul, dress them up in a red shirt and beam them away to the planet Alfa Amiright 06 to see if they have what it takes to stay alive on their own. So far I'm one down and two to go (in an indefinite future) and this one is about an unnamed crew member on Voyager who's coming to Captain Janeway with complaints about Neelix's cooking.
Janeway I fear I'm going to just upchuck
And I fear more than a little hurl
But you should know by now, I'm not Talaxian

You always taught us right from wrong
We need your help, Neelix must be gone
I may have heartburn now, but I know what I'm saying

His meals you warned us not about
This grub I'll say we do good without
Kitchen's an awful mess, and I lit'rally mean that

Please
Janeway don't preach, you're in lunch launch reach
Janeway don't preach, I'm as white as bleach
And I've made up my mind, I'm boycotting Neelix
I'm gonna boycott Neelix

He says that he plans a fiest or three
With canned roots from the Leola tree
Is Sickbay on alert? It'll be sacrifice!

And we all keep eating just to barf it up
From fear of dying young we always heave it up
What we need no more is his "Chef's surprise"

Please
Janeway don't preach, I'm near warp core breach
Janeway don't preach, I'll be drained and leached
And I've made up my mind, I'm boycotting Neelix
I'm gonna boycott Neelix

Janeway, Janeway, our chef's a loony queer
Real bad's how we've been eating here
He's thinking that dressing's fair chow
Yes he's out in space
He's out in space
He's out in space
Yes he's out in space

So please
Janeway don't preach, I'm not feeling peach
Janeway don't preach, I fear gluteal breach
Yes I've made up my mind, I'm boycotting Neelix
Janeway don't preach, he's a freeload leech
Janeway don't preach, have the quack impeached
Janeway don't preach, even Tuvok screech'
Janeway don't preach, every time and each

Janeway don't preach
I'm gonna boycott Neelix
Janeway don't preach
Janeway don't preach
Today he's serving Leola
Janeway don't preach
For good I'm boycotting Neelix
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DKTOS? - July 20, 2006 - Report this comment
There's no guarantee that it will still be there when you (whoever you are) read this, but I found the original song here:

www.dgambia.com/mp4/preach.mp3
Kristof Robertson - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Not a huge Trek fan, Peter...but 5s just for using the phrase "gluteal breach"
Red Ant - July 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Though I've forgotten much of Voyager, this was awesome, particularly the chorus lines "lunch launch reach" and "warp core breach; lol!

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