Song Parodies -> Houri Virgins
| Original Song Title: | "Like A Virgin" |
| Original Performer: | Madonna |
| Parody Song Title: | "Houri Virgins" |
| Parody Written by: | Steve Kalafut |
The contrast between the afterlife as imagined by radical Muslim terrorists, and the afterlife that all terrorists deserve. Although a "houri" is untouched by man, and is thus virginal, the term does not translate as "virgin", but more like "pure being". "Kaffir" is used by Muslims to denote infidels (and by white settlers in Africa as a racial slur against the black natives). "Iblis" is the Islamic name of the supreme devil (and later a character on the old Battlestar Galactica TV series).
I want to kill the infidels
As many as I can
Blow them all to smithereens
That's Osama's plan
When my act is complete
I'll be dead, but I won't be blue
'Cause then I'll be with
Yes, I'll soon be with
Seventy two
Houri virgins
Touched for the very first time
All those virgins
In the next world
They're all mine
Gonna give the infidels terror
Their fear is rising fast
Been craving a martyr's death
Not much more to last
They're so fine and they're mine
Must be strong, for the task ahead
They are my reward
Yes, they're my reward
When kaffirs are dead
Houri virgins
Touched for the very first time
All those virgins
In the next world
They're all mine
Oooh, oooh, oooh
[sound of explosion]
Now I'm here and I fear
I'm in brimstone up to my ears
Something is not right
And it's come to light
Boy, it's hot down here
Where's my virgins?
There's only perverts and whores
There's no virgins
And my skin now
Crawls with sores
There's no virgins, ooh, ooh
Just insurgents
They've come down here, too
Did you kill them, all the pagans, and crusaders?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, Iblis
Am I really stuck here
'Til the end of all time?
As many as I can
Blow them all to smithereens
That's Osama's plan
When my act is complete
I'll be dead, but I won't be blue
'Cause then I'll be with
Yes, I'll soon be with
Seventy two
Houri virgins
Touched for the very first time
All those virgins
In the next world
They're all mine
Gonna give the infidels terror
Their fear is rising fast
Been craving a martyr's death
Not much more to last
They're so fine and they're mine
Must be strong, for the task ahead
They are my reward
Yes, they're my reward
When kaffirs are dead
Houri virgins
Touched for the very first time
All those virgins
In the next world
They're all mine
Oooh, oooh, oooh
[sound of explosion]
Now I'm here and I fear
I'm in brimstone up to my ears
Something is not right
And it's come to light
Boy, it's hot down here
Where's my virgins?
There's only perverts and whores
There's no virgins
And my skin now
Crawls with sores
There's no virgins, ooh, ooh
Just insurgents
They've come down here, too
Did you kill them, all the pagans, and crusaders?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, Iblis
Am I really stuck here
'Til the end of all time?
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Ah, the irony. A song about genocidal terrorists set to the music of the supreme intepreter of the Cabala. Fine fives.
Second set of fives is from me.
Reminds me of the Onion's post-9/11 issue where the terrorists were disappointed in their final destination of Hell, instead of the blessings of heaven they were hoping for (the fools). S'alaam alaikem...555
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