These stains no mystery
Yellow and brown on both sides
The smell is misery
Only pair I own

For Christmas this year, please buy me underwear
Some boxers or briefs, You know I just don't care
The smell can overpower, so I take a shower
Put them on again, they smell worse then ten men

It smells like ass, just like a monkey dying
They stick to me, and you'll agree
I'm not lying

They can't come clean, I broke my washer trying
It's just no use, cleaners refuse
So who's buying?

For birthday this year, please buy me underwear
Sexy or plain, they're full of pubic hair
They destroyed the dryer
Should set them on fire
Could really use a pair

BVD's, or maybe Fruit of the Loom
You'll hold your nose, my underclothes
Will bring us doom
Like locker room, they must be ten times stronger
They're stained with pee, and so dirty
Wait no longer

Buy underwear, the stench is in the air
And they have holes you see, can't find a pair for free
They smell like butt, my neighbors had enough
Buy underwear, you would not sniff them on a dare

Buy underwear, or you can share
Or could you trade with me?