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Song Parodies -> "Vicki and Chris"

Original Song Title:

"Jack and Diane"

Original Performer:

John Cougar Mellencamp

Parody Song Title:

"Vicki and Chris"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

For the people not in the UK who might not have heard about the fairly spectacular, one might almost say "meteoric", downfall of a former minister and his former government chief economist former wife, click here
Little ditty about Vicki and Chris
One a politician, one's an economist
Vicki's high up at KPMG
Chris is a LibDem, he wants to be an MP

Chris has picked up points for doin' excess speed
He'll be banned from driving
A little trick is what he need
Chris, he say "Hey, Vicki if you
Take these points for me
I can make more money
As MP for Eastleigh
Vicky Say: "yup"


Oh, but, ten years on
Long after the thrill of marriage is gone
Now it's ten years on
Chris found a new woman, a zzzzp! he's gone
He ***ked off

Vicki hits back and she talks to the papers
Telling the world of his speeding-point deed
But she lies: someone else did his biddin'
Police come lookin', they ain't missin' no-thing
Sad to say that

Oh yeah, spite lives on
Long after the end of marriage is gone
Oh year, spite lives on
Long after the Huhne/Pryce marriage has gone
It's not fun

Police'll look
For a while
'Cause it's a crime and there'll
Be a trial
"Marital coercion" is her defence
Charges laid against her
'Cause she's been ****ing dense


Oh yeah, the trial goes on
After Chris' guilty plea is done
Oh yeah, Vicki's trial goes on
Soon after a nine month sentence goes down
They're goin' down


Little ditty about Vicki and Chris
Doin' time for perverting the course of justice

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Phil - Whether a parliamentary democracy/constitutional monarchy or a republic, it's all the same. Nice job here. ;D
Callmelennie - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Good song choice for telling a story, Phil. I'm sure I would be howling if I was more familiar with the backstory
Jonathan - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
555 though like lennie I don't know much about the topic either
Phil Alexander - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, everyone

..brief summary: Chris would have been banned for driving, so he asked (but not forced) his (then) wife Vicky to say she was driving. He went on to become a LibDem MP and Energy Secretary in the cabinet (he wasn't many votes away from being LibDem leader & perhaps deputy Prime Minister). Ten years later, he runs off with his secretary, and Vicky does the "woman scorned" bit, running to the newspapers to let them know what a cheating fink her ex-husband was/is.

..what she hadn't planned on was the police investigation forcing her to say that it was she who was the second party in the points-switching business, and ergo accused of the same offence. He denied charges, right up until it was beyond doubt & then pleaded guilty; she tried to get out of it using the "marital coercion" defence (google it - a wonderfully sexist and anachronistic bit of law), but the jury didn't swallow it. So they were both sentenced fo 9 months.

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