Song Parodies -> Our Duke Nukem Is To Blame
| Original Song Title: | "No One Ever Is To Blame" |
| Original Performer: | Howard Jones |
| Parody Song Title: | "Our Duke Nukem Is To Blame" |
| Parody Written by: | Offender |
Recently, I got this crazy idea for a video game scenario: what if Duke Nukem were President of the United States? What would Hollywood, the television networks, newspapers, and the half of the nation that didn't vote for him say about him?
Duke Nukem is our President. He just can't lead;
Always swearing at us from the live press room feed;
All his policies are cruel, as are his punishments;
He killed thousands of undocumented immigrants!
He's a monster, that Duke Nukem:
His illegal wars
Killed bystanders and civilians;
So much shed blood! Our Duke Nukem is to blame.
Duke's unilateral wars have cost us billions;
Duke's a fascist killer, likes to slaughter aliens!
Won't play by rules; our rights are good as lost;
He destroyed our city in the L.A. Holocaust!
He's like Stalin, that Duke Nukem:
Shutting movies down,
Trashing clinics, closing newstands;
Our rights are gone! Curse Duke Nukem! He's to blame.
He tore down our city, and won't rebuild it!
He says that he freed the women; what a sexist hypocrite!
If you like Duke, you've got to be insane!
Why'd you ever re-elect him? Do you even have a brain?
Worse than Hitler, that Duke Nukem:
Must be Satan's spawn!
Nuked the green-skins; he's racist too.
What are you on? Don't you know that Duke's to blame?
Let's impeach him; Duke's to blame!
Nukem always is to blame...
Always swearing at us from the live press room feed;
All his policies are cruel, as are his punishments;
He killed thousands of undocumented immigrants!
He's a monster, that Duke Nukem:
His illegal wars
Killed bystanders and civilians;
So much shed blood! Our Duke Nukem is to blame.
Duke's unilateral wars have cost us billions;
Duke's a fascist killer, likes to slaughter aliens!
Won't play by rules; our rights are good as lost;
He destroyed our city in the L.A. Holocaust!
He's like Stalin, that Duke Nukem:
Shutting movies down,
Trashing clinics, closing newstands;
Our rights are gone! Curse Duke Nukem! He's to blame.
He tore down our city, and won't rebuild it!
He says that he freed the women; what a sexist hypocrite!
If you like Duke, you've got to be insane!
Why'd you ever re-elect him? Do you even have a brain?
Worse than Hitler, that Duke Nukem:
Must be Satan's spawn!
Nuked the green-skins; he's racist too.
What are you on? Don't you know that Duke's to blame?
Let's impeach him; Duke's to blame!
Nukem always is to blame...
I got this idea when I came across an article on www.pointlesswasteoftime.com: The Ultimate War Sim. As it happened, I had just been tinkering with the new Duke Nukem High-Resolution Pack. Then I thought: Duke Nukem would be just the character to put in the kind of simulation Wong describes in that article...
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Hail to the king, baby! 5-4-5
I looked at the website you reference--quite a bit there.
And of course, Duke Nukem is make believe....right? Nicely done!
I think I liked Wong's 17th suggestion the best, incidentally: that simulated Newsweek cover was priceless.
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