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Song Parodies -> "Guilty Teeth Have Frogslegs Bitten"

Original Song Title:

"Careless Whisper"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Michael

Parody Song Title:

"Guilty Teeth Have Frogslegs Bitten"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

okay, so I'm halfway through dinner in a classy Parisian restaurant, right....and then they bring out the local delicacies......listen to an mp3 of the original song here




(whoa-oa oh...oh-oh whoa)


I feel
so - un - sure
as I take that snail, and scrape him out - with - my - fork
dunno how he died
somehow his demise
calls to mind a "sizzling fields"
sure - ly - no - joy - ride

I'll never go to France again
Guilty teeth have hot snails bitten
though I'm queasy, I pretend
that I enjoy them too-oo
I shoulda stood up and been the snailworld's friend
lam-basted both le chef et garcon
so I'll never go to France again
I'm sorry France - adieu

whoa-oa-oa


Time
can never mend
the legless stumps of
all - our - frog - friends
It is so unkind
to have wined and dined
ON their limbs while those frogs limp
home - on their - froghinds

I'll never go to France again
guilty teeth have frogslegs bitten
though uneasy, I dipped them
into the cheese fondue
I shoulda yelled out "You guys have no excuse...
to make those critters amputees" so
I can never go to France again
and neither, frogs, should vous

(that-goes-for-vous-too)


[ wailing emo sax solo ]


Tonight the munching seems so loud
but maybe if I'd screamed this out:
"Hey guys!...It's cruel what you do!
You're hurting little animals who aint hurt you!"
they'd still be inching...through the flowers
they'd still be "ribbit"...ing for hours
but NO!
they're born in France and they...
must
pay-ay

so I'll never dine with Franks again
guilty gullet won't go near them
and I totally do intend
their restaurants to shun
shoulda know better than to eat those dudes
and swallow all that goodness in them
I can never go to France again
(they tasted kinda yu-um)

oh-oh oh


[ even more wailing sax ]


now that...
it's done
they......
were so yu-um

they taste...
-ed great
why'd they have to ta-aste
so grea-eat

with a cheeky char-donn-ay?

l'lala lala...
l'lala lala...
l'lala lala...

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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 36

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 2
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   34
 34
 34
 

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
How many frogs croaked while you wrote this? 5s
Yoidy - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Totally absurd and hilarious! 555
Matthias - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Great croaks, I mean jokes!!!
Arwen - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Lots of fun stuff here, Stuart...I had many favorite lines, but for some reason...

"they'd still be "ribbit"...ing for hours"

...struck me as extra funny! Nice job!
Rick C - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
What about all of those potatoes they've sliced up into French fries, Stu? You're letting these creeps of carnal cuisine off way too easy!

I too enjoyed the ribbit.....ing line. 555
alvin rhodes - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
funny stuff...i have a deal with the frogs...i don't eat their legs...they don't eat mine
John Barry - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Haute cuisine and cinqs!
Meriadoc - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Stu, where do you come up with this stuff ..? - I was cracking up all the way thru. Maybe you should forego all meat and stick to root veggies instead... ;-)
AFW - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Way to keep 'em jumpin' there, Stuart
Below Average Dave - February 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess Careless Hook Ups wasn't enough, you had to show me how to Parody George Michael "Time can never mend the legless stumps of all - our - frog - friends" Oh jesus--That has to be one of the . . .oh wow. . .and "I can never go to France again and neither, frogs, should vous" Nice mixing of the languages. The sympatheic vote to the frogs here was brilliant Stu just like you. You always give me honest opinion and praise too, and the more I read by you the more I appreciate your opinion.
Stuart McArthur - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
sadly, according to the French Bureau Of Statistics, over 280, Jack - RIP(pit)

thanks Yoidy Matthias and my anti-french-food campaigner Arwen ;-)

thanks Rick C, JAB and alvin :-)

thanks Merry - "root veggies" sounds better than "root frogs"

thanks AFW, and thanks BA Dave for your considered comment :-)
Peregrin - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Good thing you're from Victoria and not new South Wales Stu, or I'd be trotting out some sort of cane toad joke... :) God work with this, funny :)

As for your comment above to Merry, dunno, depends if they are nice or not *grin*
Johnny D - February 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Man, Stu, when you can consistently produce parodies as cleverly-written as THIS, you deserve some kind of tribute-parody for yourself! Hmm...let's see...heh heh heh...oh, yeah, 555...now, what was I saying? Oh yeah...heh heh heh... ;-)
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Two songs about frog mastication in one SOTM tournee. How ribbeting, er riveting!
Kristof Robertson - March 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Kicking myself that I missed this first time around. Stupendously silly, but with George's OS, superbly self-important and sombre as well. Brill! 555+
Jason - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Absolutely brilliant. Reminds me of my france trip in 2000. 555
Below Average Dave - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Can't say anything I haven't already, classic parody. A+++++
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
So much better than the original lyric it's somewhere in another dimension... if only we could get George Michael to re-record with these words.
Max Power - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Great
Cat - March 18, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! Excellent job! Maybe next time you ought to learn French before ordering...it's "cuisses de grenouilles" for all you out there. But anyway, I loved this.
Peter Andersson - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wounderful title, great parody.
The Cahrsntar - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - THAT WAS AWESOME! Love the OS, Love the parody, 5-5-5
wannabemustangjockey - March 22, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Naturally I was expecting the title to be a sub for "guilty feet ain't got no rhythm", but wow... just wow...
Stuart McArthur - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks Pippin, although I don't reckon I've ever met a REALLY nice canetoad

thanks JD - like Al Quaida innuendo, that thinking out loud started to sound ominous, but I feel I may be safe now ;-)

thanks AG, and Kristof...actually "Superbly self-important and sombre Stu" is how I'm known around these parts - not in Paris though - I can never go to France again, remember

thanks Jason, BA Dave, and Phil (would George see the joke?)

thanks max - thanks Cat (show-off!!)

thanks Peter, Charnstar and Jay :-)
Tim Mayfield - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Too much croak and dagger for me, but let's not jump to concussions.
tomario - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
top class ! i think everybody has said everything still 555 "alez ! alez !"
Johnny D - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, but don't look below, 'cause you're knee deep...knee deep...knee deep... ;-)
Jack Wilson - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah ok then, so Ill have some mroe of those frogs with aCroak a Cola
Leojaye - April 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Terrifically twisted. But... who are you to criticize -- don't you Aussies consider koala ears to be a delicacy? :-)
Red Ant - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Simply delicious (as opposed to limacious)... excellent work and this inspires so wicked visuals (hint, hint, record this and make a video sometime, Stu!). 555
McKludge - March 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I HATE WHAM! But I dig this.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
This song is one of my guilty pleasure songs. And it's a frog eat frog world. Brilliantly done.
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY- eeeewww frog legs.. Absolutely love the title sub! Very well done, Stu.
Guy - May 09, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC-5G)

I remember ordering "Frog Legs" in an eatery in the panhandle area of Florida. My waitress referred to this delicacy as "Swamp Chicken".

Loved what you did with this one, Stu. This parody earns you a "French Toast".
Agrimorfee - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Hack off another limb for the above commentary...
Melanie Lee - May 26, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Tres bien! (I kiss you on both cheeks!) Do you remember the "Frog's Legs" song from The Muppet Movie? I once had frog's legs, I believe in City Island in the Bronx, and yes, they tasted like chicken! Cinq-cinq-cinq! (My security code says 5du!)
Claude Prez - May 28, 2009 - Report this comment
I've never commented on this? Really? Shame on me; this is awesome, from the great title sub down to the last delicious morsel. Great stuff Stu.
Red Ant - May 28, 2009 - Report this comment
It was a joy to revisit this one Stu. Upon a second read, I noticed you changed up the rhyme scheme a bit in the choruses (chori? lol). Bulletproof pacing, awesome idea, frogless, err, flawless work here.
bobpiecheese - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC4) I've always had a soft spot for frogs, given that one of my mates has a huge thing for 'em (why else would his nickname be Froggy?). Loved the parody, mate. 555! Free the Frogs (and the snails, too I guess...slimy little sods)!
Matthias - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
This one was frogtacular!!!! Amazing subs coming out of the woodwork on this one, actually I would rather have an amazing sub than these frogs legs anyday... Mmmmmm.... Subs....
Jeff Reuben - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Your frogative to take this one on :) See above, still loved it.
Below Average Dave - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Still a classic, still embarrasses me on my own take on this song, which I thought was funny when I wrote it. . .

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