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Song Parodies -> "You Wanna Know What Suck Is?"

Original Song Title:

"I Want To Know What Love Is"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Foreigner

Parody Song Title:

"You Wanna Know What Suck Is?"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Hard rockin' bands makin' wimpy songs is the short answer. The parody is the full answer. DKTOS? MIDI and Lyrics here.
We're gonna travel back in time
Back to a time in the mid eighties

I'm gonna say some words unkind
About a genre kind of crazy..

oh.....OH....-oh

I've got something on my mind
It's often thought but seldom spoken..
Many songs I seem to find
Are really drivel, lyrics broken

They're a blight, causing headaches and pain
Many blow and deserved to be flamed
Why stop now?, it's really not hard
To spoof this wimpy song.....

You wanna know what suck is?
An 80s rock ballad!
You've never heard what suck is?
You won't understand this..
Ho-oh-oh....ooh

I'm gonna sing another line
Another line, I do sing badly (oh-oh)
Like my testicles have died
Well it sure sucks to be unmanly

And this guy, sings of heartache and pain
Funny though, that I was think..in' the same
'bout this song, its trying too hard
Instead of love it's whine...

You wanna know what suck is?
To tell you I'm happy
You've never heard what suck is?
When lyrics are sappy

You wanna know what suck is?..
A two minute outro
(And I'll keep it real..),
So now you know what suck is..
(Now you know), Your average rock ballad...

[repeat above chorus twice more in various arrangements
if you find it necessary like Foreigner did-I didn't; point made]
copyright 2005+ Red AntI do like Foreigner but not this song, and yes, some power ballads are good (perhaps excellent) but many are awful. This parody while admittedly not great saved me the effort of lampooning each of them on an individual basis.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   16
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User Comments

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Yet Another Dutchman - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I agree with you. Besides Foreigner's "I Wanna Know..." the songs this parody applies to could also include nineties songs like "More Than Words" by Extreme and "Don't Cry" by Guns N' Roses (you probably disagree with me on that last one, I do love Guns), but the list wouldn't include "Still Loving You" by the Scorpions from the eighties. Name me some more wimpy songs by rock bands, Red Ant. Makin' fun of music... one song at a time. :-D
Red Ant - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks YAD, and you nailed "More Than Words" (Gary Chirone later went on to try and front Van Halen, yeesh). Other bad ballads? Remember Firehouse with "Love of a Lifetime"? Okay, perhaps unfair, they didn't really rock in the first place. "Don't Cry" (either version) is sappy, agreed. Many of these were released in the early 90s but have a definitive 80s sound to them.
Adadio - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I happened to agree with you too. Except for a few songs they're all sappy drivel. Good parody...liked your protest of not contonuing the song like Foreigner did. (I'll remember that 'loophole') lol 5's
Michael Pacholek - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I despise "More Than Words"... but you want to know what suck really is? In October, it's... Number 13... Alex... Rodriguez... third base... Number 13...
Red Ant - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat and Michael. Pat, I usually stay away from doing that but in some cases it is beneficial, both to the viewer and the person writing the parody.
John Barry - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
The whole decade accounted for a lot of bad pop. 5s
Johnny D - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
555, LOL ! To quote Jimmy Fallon's impression of one of the Bee Gees' from Saturday Night Live, "sounds like a car battery was dropped on his sack !! "
PMS - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL . I agree there were a whole lot of wimpy whiny songs in the 80's and 90s. And it must be a girl thing, but I like "More Than Words". But that would not stop me from writing a parody to it... hmm, gives me an idea. Thanks!!
Stevie I - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny, but most every hard rock band has its signature "power ballad". Some are better than others. Dopiness aside, they laughed all the way to the bank on this one.
Red Ant - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John, Johnny D, PMS and Stevie.

PMS; If you make that you will in all likelyhood get 5s automatically from me b/c TOS is horrible.

Stevie; Good points with which I agree.
MrMacphisto - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO... Great parody, and I especially hate Foreigner anyway...
Adagio - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
I had to go back here and see what in the heck you meant by

"Pat, I usually stay away from doing that but in some cases it is beneficial, both to the viewer and the person writing the parody."

I agree.
Red Ant - October 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks MrMacphisto and Pat.
Adagio - October 18, 2005 - Report this comment
That was such a funny comment, Johnny. LOLOL!!
Scrawny Johnny - January 26, 2006 - Report this comment
This ballad may be awful, but Slaughter's "Fly to the Angels" and almost anything by the Scorpions are awesome. Don't forget about Skid Row's "18 & Life" or Kix's "Don't Close Your Eyes" which are both excellent ballads supported with pure 80s-metal sound. I could go on, but one more before I close -- Damn Yankees "High Enough"

But do you wanna know another bad ballad? Black Sabbath's "No Stranger To Love"
Red Ant - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Scrawny Johnny. I like the song you mentoned as good+, but haven't heard that Kix or Black Sabbath song.
Agrimorfee - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(Y '06) For some reason this just didn't knock my socks off as most of your song satire parodies do.
Cat - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC Y 06) This is great, Red Ant! And it definitely needed to be said. I actually used to like a few of those songs in the past, but fortunately not anymore. But although they're not really ballads, my biggest guilty pleasure from the 80s has to be either "Sussudio" by Phil Collins or "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car" by Billy Ocean.
Matthias - March 02, 2006 - Report this comment
I admit this Power Ballad does suck, but once you start mocking Meatloaf you're going to make me Red! .... Ant!!!
Rick C - March 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Well done to an OS that deserved it. 555
Johnny D - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Stuart McArthur - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
(Y) I totally agree with your last comment, Red - I also like Foreigner, but not this one - they were masters of the power ballad, weren't they - also your link didn't work, although I recall the song well enough
Larry Hensley - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good parody of a really stinky song, 555
Chris Bodily TM - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC contest) LMAO!!! This is actually a pretty good song, IMO. But I loved your take on it. 544, and I agree, some 80s ballads and stuff are kinda lame ("More Than Words," anybody?)
Red Ant - April 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agrimorfee, Cat, Matthias, Rick C, Johnny D, Stu, Larry and Chris. Agrimorfee, no problem, that's a high enough compliment for my other song satires.
Stephen Harrington - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
555, the OS is definetly not one of my faves.
Tim Hall - October 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, the mid 80's were an era that I would love to forget musically.

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