Song Parodies -> Get A Life

Original Song Title:

"Walk Of Life"

Original Performer:

Dire Straits

  
Parody Song Title:

"Get A Life"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

DKTOS? Try this site for a MP3, decent lyrics are here.

This is dedicated to the loser "jonny", who has been spamming the hell out of every part of AmIRight for the past two weeks. As usual, bracketed words aren't sung.
[intro]

[all * lines are in the voice of Timmy from South Park]:

*jonny! jonny!

Here comes "jonny" posting stupid comments
Verbal diarrhea that's what I say
Wake up "jonny", maybe you'll take this notice
Trolls on a website are so hella lame
For ev'ry action, there's a deletion
Oh-yeah! go down in flames!
Take vacation; it's hopeless!
Turn in, all your 'net crimes will be erased

You should go play with stuff very pois'nous
Hey, try this on: go eat a knife!
You hear me yet?
Now go get a life
Yeah, please try to get a life!

*jonny!

Go 'way "jonny", don't wanna hear your story
Damn, these clowns don't have a clue
So, here's "jonny" with his hours of postwhorin'
Spam-boy, I laugh at you!
Your ev'ry action gets a demotion
....yeah, destroyed today
Take vacation - it's over!
Turn in, all your 'net crimes will be erased

And the truth is he's never been with a woman
He's a virgin at 35
Prob'ly rapes his pets
Needs to get a life
Yeah, he needs to get a life

[solo]

*jonny!

*jonny! jonny!

Still, there's "jonny" posting stupid comments
Verbal diarrhea that's what I say
Now go, "jonny", see the end is a-comin'
Spam on this website we eliminate
Here is a fact, son: you are a whore's son
...who's cheap, 2 bucks a lay
Retroactive abortion**
You've an open spot at the clinic today!

'cause, after all, you gambled and lost this bet
We would be better off if you freakin' died
It's not a threat
But you should get a life
mmm you need to get a life

[fade out]

*jonny!

*jonny! jonny

*jonny ARRGH! [splat!]

[jonny gets hit by a rogue meteorite,
which looks exactly like a can of Spam]

Oh my god! They killed jonny!

Kick ass!
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher ** Explained further here.
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.7
 
How Funny: 4.7
 
Overall Rating: 4.7
 

Total Votes: 14
Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

 Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 1
 
 1
 
 
 2   0
 
 0
 
 0
 
 
 3   0
 
 0
 
 0
 
 
 4   0
 
 0
 
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 5   13
 
 13
 
 13
 
 
User Comments Follow...

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
That explanation at the end of the parody is a joke, right?
I did wonder when you were going to say something about this character..didn't think you'd give him a tribute, though. Even so, a good parody.
AFW - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
You get your writers license for perfectly South Parking
TJC - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm with Adagio... fine work, and harsh-man, harsh!... parody strongly defines its stance stays in character throughout...and ... by-the-bye, thanks for the links (didn't know the OS)
alvin rhodes - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
love the surreal ending
PMS - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Verbal diarrhea and retroactive abortion had me howling!
Rick C - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent, Jack! That Unplanned Parenthood link at the end was a riot too. "You decide whether you want to keep that fetus, whether it's been delivered or not." There would never have been a problem with aborting him though, since he's never had a life. 555
Matthias - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Matthias I see that Jonny found your parody judging by those ones!!! I loved "who's cheap, 2 bucks a lay"
malcolm higgins - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
obviously that prick gave you ones, Red, but you got five ants from me
Mr 1s - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes me issued the 1s and its spelt Johnny not Jonny And too many *s as well.
Spoof-Man - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Great..Red Ant has done it agian!!
Red Ant - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat, AFW, TJC, Alvin, PMS, Rick C, Matthias, Malcolm, and Spoof-Man.

Pat: The site linked isn't a joke per se, more like satire. Rest assured there are no places like that in existance.

TJC: Glad the links helped. Harsh, but more than deserved.

Rick C: I wasn't familiar with Jeff Lindsay, and only stumbled across that site trying to reference "retroactive abortion." That said, I'll have to check out more of his stuff.

Matthias and Malcolm: I don't think "jonny" votes; he just leaves spam.

Mr 1s: The parody is applicable to you too. Like usual, you are wrong. He does spell it "jonny", not "Johnny". Don't like asterisks? Good, next parody I'll make sure to use more of them.
Mr 1s - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
I be honoured if Mr Red Ant did a parody of me ;-)
Idiot Detector - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Just ignore Mr 1s, Mr. Ant. You did a fine job with this parody. He's just asking for trouble. (Chucky'll eventually ban his ip.)
The Charnstar - September 29, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! Mr 1s ey? Sounds like a good song. Great stuff Red Ant, this was brilliant, i loved the spamful ending, 5-5-5
Death To The Ones Guy - October 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Can something be done to stop unnecessary triple one voting?
Stephen Harrington - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Well wrote parody about the common annoyances on this site. 5s.
Red Ant - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Step-chan, The Charnstar, and to members of Aliases Anonymouse.
Mr 5's - October 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey this is good. Are there any other Jonny parodies?

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