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Song Parodies -> "The Clumsy Dance"

Original Song Title:

"The Humpty Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Digital Underground

Parody Song Title:

"The Clumsy Dance"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

True story: I had no idea the the original song's dance was meant to look "like a fit or a convulsion", so my parody about a guy who's unfathomable clumsiness is mistaken for a hip dance is unintentionally a spin on the original. The more you know, I guess. Enjoy!
Oh-oh, I'm so clumsy
Oh-oh, so damn clumsy

Oh no, I know that look in your eye, but I'm refusin'
No, I'm not goin' out clubbin' with you
It's not money troubles, no, I can fund me, please
There's no good reason that you can give me
Because I've found, clumsiest fool in town
Is me now, fall down like an unpaid clown
At home, the worst that I can do is knock down my shelf
And I don't care if I hurt myself
Aware I'm clumsy, pronounced with the "umsy"
Look, buddy, you're gonna have to trust me
I can't be allowed out in public, cause if somebody bumps me
I'm gonna fall on ev'ryone in the club, see
Don't drag me there, wait, you're doin' it, bud, please
I don't care if you request "Get Lucky"
I'm clumsy, this trip is gonna suck, please
Already here? That can't be, crap
Well, you're gonna be regrettin' this
When the class lawsuit from my clumsy actions hits
"Give my friend a wide berth" Kiddin' me with this?
I don't want to dance, cause I just look silly
I'm provin' it now, see how it's shitty?
People see that I'm an absolute doof
And so your reputation is all kinds of doomed
I'm flailing, the patrons keep on staring
But what is this, they're sayin' "that's amazing"?
It seems that by some bizarre chance
I've created a brand new dance

The clumsy dance, where you pratfall on your butt (oh, oh God, I'm so clumsy)
Uh, do the clumsy strut, ain't hard to do the clumsy strut (oh-oh, I'm so clumsy)
Watch you head, y'all, it's the clumsy strut
You'll bump it when you clumsy strut (oh-oh-oh-oh, I'm so clumsy)
Yeah, thought that I would look stupid (do the clumsy strut)
I made the clumsy strut (oh, oh-oh, I'm so clumsy)
Can't stop, do the clumsy strut, ha-ha, it's the clumsy strut

Guess the way I'm clumsy is really funky lookin'
Well I think that's kinda stupid
I slip and trip and ev'ryone starts to trip with me
Buddy, can you hear me?
Can't take no more, see, of the patrons, please
Yes, the public adores me
Cause they think I'm the hot dancer of the year
It's not really much of a dance when I just fall on my rear
I'm done, let's ditch, uh-uh, don't you dare claim
That you can make this a way to get paid
That's insane, can't persuade me, I look like an arse
You're thinkin' up a scheme, I won't take part
It's just stupid, it's got less chances than lupus
To even work, say it's in progress? Then prove it
You booked a big gig tonight, some kinda concert
Tons of people wanna watch me "dance"? That's nonsense
Why you tellin' me to close my eyes?
Wait, no, this trick is obvious, I'm on the stage now, right?
Now I'm nervous, which makes me clumsy, you ass
Still can't believe this is a dance

My clumsy "dance" is your plan to make a buck
Oh God, legs goin' crazy (oh, I'm so clumsy)
It's the clumsy strut (oh God, uh) do the clumsy strut (oh-oh) hope you paid me (I'm so clumsy)
Shoulders popped out (friggin' clumsy strut)
Can't stop doin' the clumsy strut (oh-oh-oh-oh, I'm so clumsy, uh)
When your balance, you're loosin' (it's the clumsy strut)
You're doin' the clumsy strut, y'all (oh, oh-oh, I'm so clumsy)
Uh, it's the clumsy strut, kinda hurts, the clumsy strut

Okay, need a break, y'all
Cause I need an ambulance soon, oh dear
Cause ooh, geez, ooh, shit
Damn, dude, geez, looks shit
Oh dear
Can we get this dance banned quickly for the public's health?
I'm pretty sure legs aren't meant to bend like that
Hurts quite a lot too, help me out

The bones in my left side are all kinds of broken
Pokin' and stickin' out my skin, I'm not jokin'
I'm that damn clumsy
And now that that's the in thing to do, that's just damn sucky
Now hospital's bus'ness is boomin'
And so I do hope that they've got enough room in
And on you is all the blame
This was your plan, dog, "Clumsy Strut"'s your game
Half the country's in terrible pain
Better not have another dumb plan in your brain
Should be just guilt therein
Skippin' town? Don't you dare budge
No, you just sit on your butt and lament all of those bucks
Goin' t'wards my hospital bills, bud

The clumsy dance was your chance to make a buck (I'm not sorry, oh, too bad, buddy)
Uh, hate the clumsy strut
No-one will do the clumsy strut, they're not crazy (oh-oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
Ban the clumsy strut, uh, stop the clumsy strut (oh-oh-oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
As a plan, that was stupid (stupid clumsy strut)
It ruined your rep a ton, dog (oh, oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
Gonna stop the clumsy strut, uh, hate the clumsy strut
Cut it out (oh, oh-oh, too bad, buddy)

Dumb people do the clumsy strut
Fallin' on their butt (oh, oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
Inverse: bright people hate the clumsy strut
From their set list, it's cut (oh-oh-oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
You made millions from the clumsy strut
And where's that money now, bub? (So you'd better pull the plug, oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
You moron, ban the clumsy strut from parties and from the clubs

Aw yeah
Feelin' stupid (why did you do it?)
Uh, took advantage, bud, of my clumsy strut (tell me why did you do it?)
You hurt people with the clumsy strut, yes, the clumsy strut was shit (why did you do it?)
Ban the clumsy strut, your fault, you caused the clumsy strut (tell me why did you do it?)
Yes, I "danced" I'm not stupid (ban the clumsy strut)
Promotion was your fault
Aw yeah, your name's known 'round town (oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, not your patsy (oh-oh, too bad, buddy)
News is showin' mobs around your fancy house
You're becoming a pariah, 'cause, you jerk
You tried to turn my clumsy "dance"
Into some kinda meme, all contact with you, I'll sever

No, won't talk, buddy
No-no, won't talk, buddy
No-no-no-no, won't talk, buddy
No, no-no, won't talk, buddy

Have I said how much I don't like overlapping lyrics when it comes to writing parodies? Because I really don't like 'em. Pain in the hole, they are. I guess I could ignore them, but that would be denying my true self as a pedantic prat. Can't have that, no sir.

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Total Votes: 4

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