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Song Parodies -> "God Gave Rednecks Their Guns"

Original Song Title:

"Girls Just Want To Have Fun"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cyndi Lauper

Parody Song Title:

"God Gave Rednecks Their Guns"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

I'm posting this extra one today to try out Tommy Turtle's tip about links on Amiright. It's actually an old parody from my vault of unfinished ideas, written the day after Toys Just Wish You'd Stay Young but never posted because even though I liked the title sub and choruses I felt I really hadn't found the right tone [1] for the rest of it, and under those choruses there are really only nine other lines to actually work with, so they kinda matter more than for the average song. Anyway, I'm posting it now, and a YouTube version of the original song can if my linking is working be found here.
They buy guns, everyone in sight
Though clerks' might say; "You are not a mental case, right?"
"Shoot lib'rals dead and make the terrorists run"

'Cos, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns

The right wing's in the media tonight
The pitch they sell's "Don't you wanna fight for your life?"
"With guns and beer we'll have the lib'rals sent home"

'Cos, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their
That's all they really need
Some guns!

For the Judgement Day to come
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns

God, he just
Gave them their guns, God
Come let's buy

Some men take a stand for the herd
And empty away at the scum of the world
The NRA defends their right to go on

'Cos, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns
That's all they really need
Some guns!

For the Judgement Day to come
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns

God, he just
Gave them their guns, God
Come let's buy

Kill the fauna
If you wanna
It's Nirvana
Gunirvana
God gave rednecks their guns
God gave rednecks their guns
Kill the fauna
If you wanna
It's Nirvana
Gunirvana
'Cos, God gave rednecks their guns
Yeah, God gave rednecks their guns
For the Judgement
For the Judgement Day to come
For the Judgement Day to come
More guns
God gave rednecks their guns

(FROM HERE ON THE CHORUS JAMS)


[1]
The tone I wanted to capture was that of George Carlin's line "A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt" but the mix of spoken lines and third person narrative didn't really make that work out.


© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
So Obama was right: They DO cling to their guns and their religion. Not necessarily in that order.
Phil Alexander - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Yee-haw :)
Rebekah Dub - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
This liberal enjoyed your parody. 5/5/5!
John Barry - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
You hit the bull's eye with this one.
Patrick - April 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Can't believe I missed this one. A lot of truth here. Funny. Picked this up from your link to April 12 parody on same topic. I think even most of the conservative gun owners I know (and most of the people I know are conservative gun owners) would still get a laugh from this one.
Atheistic, Masters'-Degreed, Non-Redneck, Sealt-Belt-Wearing Gun Owner - April 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Sorry to spoil your stereotype with the facts. ... too bad the parody skipped the self-defense aspect. Cops can't be everywhere, and do we really want them to be?

This is why Obama's "guns and religion" line backfired (hahahahaha!) on him. (He should keep his muzzle clean. Or keep his muzzle muzzled.) Many gun owners are non-Southern, college-educated, etc.

DKTOS, so can't rate the pacing. Can't stand Lauper and don't care to listen. Will spare the down-vote on funny/counter-factual, as it's offset by the successful HTML link. Congratulations!

btw, you left "green-necks" out of the song, but the plug makes up for it. ;-D
Peter Andersson - April 13, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Tommy Turtle

Wow, did I really manage to upset the great TT that much with two short biased looking parodies (take away the repeated choruses/titles and they each offer no more than approx ten lines to work with, not much room for fair and balanced) and a bottom comment that (though it probably could have been better constructed) only tried to say that "if you wonder why me, a Swede, is writing about American stereotyped hicks, here's why; no real everyday audience for stereotyping my own kind on AIR".

Surely TT understands that I'm not building my view of America only on AIR found parodies from others that are running berserk with neutral truth and factoids only to maximize what could be milked out of a certain theme under a limited number of OS lines (or maybe he doesn't, seeing the gazillions of footnotes he adds to his own parodies, possibly as insurance to avoid looking biased himself) ;-)

And even if I was building my entire view of the US based on all the AIR parodies I've read over the years I'd probably still be more in reality than those countrymen and women of TTs building their entire world view on one single book, two millenias old. ;-)

As for why TT felt the need to throw in that the supreme court is going to kick out Obamacare as unconstitutional I have no idea, none of these two parodies of mine are about that and the constitution is only mentioned in reference to gun ownership. But OK, I'll play, here's what you Americans fail to understand about governmental healthcare slash taxes:

We don't give a rat's ass whether it's constitutional or not, we're simply amazed that you're the ONLY country in the traditional western civilization that don't take care of your own!

You gladly borrow trillions of dollars so you can go to war overseas and protect poor foreign women and children from dictators, but you're not willing to spend a few percent of that to protect your own poorest from disease and sickness induced destitution. It seems to us that choosing the constitution and the supreme court as the battleground for this issue is a deliberate diversion from the non-liberals, by making it an issue of whether or not it's constitutionally right you're ducking the real discussion of whether or not it's morally right.

And possibly most amazing of all, it's the political side where a majority doesn't believe in evolution who most aggressively wants to throw their poorest fellow countrymen to the random perils of personal evolutionary biological resilience.
Patrick - April 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Gun owners are just as diverse as car owners. For some it's just a way to get from one place to another, while others spend time and money on custom engines, paint jobs, and other modifications. Some commute to work, others enjoy racing, collecting antiques, and attending car shows. The same goes for guns. For most cops and soldiers, it's a tool, like a mechanic's wrench or an accountant's spreadsheet. For many gun owners, it's a link to other like minded people. And ,there are indeed people who think the government is out to disarm them and turn them into slaves and see the stockpiling of weapons and ammunition as an insurance policy against a fearful and unknown future. Note the "zombie" craze among firearm and ammunition makers. There are some who say that "zombie" is just a code word for another term starting with the letter "N". White, Christian, conservative gun owners are one of the few groups that it's still OK to satirize. Or in some cases, conservative, secular gun owners. I don't consider myself especially religious, but I do identify with some of the feelings of the religious right. It startles me to hear the left expressing such fear of people like Rick Santorum. There is no way the government is ever going to outlaw contraception or homosexuality. Can't be done. A totalitarian state can, and had made things difficult for those who enjoy owning and using guns.
Tommy Turtle - April 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Peter, copy/pasting the same reply to both? Shame!

Patrick made good points about diversity, stereotyping, (Patrick: thanks for including the secular, but what about Libertarian, not just conservative? Also fair game... ) and the fact that the only "minorities" who are no longer "protected" by the Politically-Correct Police include white males and gun owners.

Imagine the same kind of slime hurled at Blacks, women -- oh, wait, chief Democratic strategist Rosen hurled insults at Ann Romney (wife of presumptive GOP POTUS nomnee Gov. Romney) for having raised five sons into fine young men while recovering from breast cancer, and now, fighting multiple sclerosis (MS).. Or calling a (female) cable news commenter a "talk slut".

I stand corrected. The Left can hurl epithets at anyone who doesn't swallow their line. Anyone who doesn't swallow their line isn't allowed to criticize anyone else, nor to refute slime with facts.

Final thought? If the US is such a mixed-up, cold, uncaring country, why did millions of refugees risk their lives to come here, and still do, in the holds of ships, on rubber inner tubes, etc.? -- including my ancestors. You'd think they'd head for paradises like Sweden instead.

I stand corrected again. Scandinavians migrated heavily to the US's "Midwest" region during the 19th century, and still make up a good bit of the population, there and elsewhere. (My ex was part-Scandinavian.)

Other than dodging the draft during the Vietnam War, how many Americans have fled this Hell-hole of iniquity and inequity for your country, whose suicide rate is among the highest in the world? Guess cradle-to-grave welfare doesn't bring happiness after all, while opportunity does.

(Don't bother with the "sunshine" argument. It was thoroughly discussed, and thoroughly refuted, with your "neighbor", Susanna Villanen, here:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews121.shtml

I was disappointed that you did not choose to join that discussion. Please feel free -- never too late. :-D
Peter Andersson - April 14, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Tommy Turtle

First I'd like to say that I don't mind your footnotes (please go back and note the smiley on my comment there) but as you've noticed yourself that practice has not really caught on as a standard on AIR, maybe you take your social issues parodies more seriously than the rest of us do with ours, maybe it's a habitual thing for someone with that type of schooling, all I can say is that I personally don't feel the need for it on a single parody with only approx ten lines to work with, I'm totally happy with stereotyping and nothing more on such ditty works, and besides my entire body of work as a whole here on AIR is a footnote in itself to having a broader view on things.

Second, yes, good comment from Patrick, I think I can agree with everything except the closing argument, everywhere in the world where religious people who want to outlaw contraception or homosexuality or abortions have come to power on a populism wave they have sooner or later found a way to do so or at least enforce it in practice (in the 60s Swedish women were travelling to Poland for unhassled abortions, now that traffic goes the other way), isn't that "rule" of government power execution part of why you Americans have to rescue other nations from themselves so often?

Third, you ask why people fleeing from poverty don't head for Sweden, but actually they do, compared to our nation's size we have most years of recent been getting the most of all Europe (and we took the most refugees of all in as permanent citizens in Western Europe during the Balkan wars). We're a very popular destination in the third world due to our good reputation - you can't think "Sweden" without "Eden"! ;-)

Fourth, as for the suicide rate argument, that's mostly a myth, I'm kinda surprised that someone with your brain (shell?) actually believes in it. The truth is that we were very early with good statistics on/in the health and welfare sector compared to other nations (starting before WW2, managed to stay neutral during it, thank you yanks!), hence we got a head start on such statistics, both on health care and welfare numbers that look good but also on health care and welfare numbers that don't look good, i.e both the Swedish welfare Heaven/Eden thing and the high suicide numbers are in great parts mathematical myths, two sides of the same statistical coin, neither not really that useful today, unless you want to use a stereotypical line of argument. ;-)

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