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Song Parodies -> "If I Could Learn The Time"

Original Song Title:

"If I Could Turn Back Time"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"If I Could Learn The Time"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

For all you tardy sorts
If I could learn the time, I might just not be late
I'd show up for gigs and not screw up each date

I don't know why I do the things I do
I don't know why I can't tell four from eight
Time's like floor wax it can slip away
Clocks are like hecklers, they're not my friends

I didn't really mean to be late
I guess sometimes I move real slow
I really don't know why, but baby

If I could learn the time
Those hours I'd unwaste
I might keep the dates I promised--Yesterdays
I'd show up on the dot
Not disappoint the crew
Then you'd pay me, pay me
With a timecard true

My boss got cheesed off when I got behind
He seemed to think that I was just messing with his mind
He pushed me out the door and told me to buy a watch
But I lose every one I buy, or I touch

To hard to make up a good story
Too proud to say why it took long
I know that money's time but oh

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and ooh...

If I could learn the time
Those hours I'd unwaste
I might keep the dates I promised--Yesterdays
I'd show up on the dot
Not disappoint the crew
Then you'd pay me, pay me
But I now owe you

Ooooooh.
If I could learn the time,If I could learn the time
If I could learn the time----Ooh baby

I didn't really mean I'd do it
I just wanted to make a show
I know that bullpoop flies---Ooooh

If I could learn the time
Those hours I'd unwaste
I might keep the dates I promised--Yesterdays
I'd show up on the dot
Not disappoint the crew
Then you'd pay me, pay me
Now I'll have to sue

If I just had the time
We'd be in court today
Then buddy, maybe maybe
You'd pay..

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   2
 1
 2
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   4
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
This song is very timely, I'm going to be late today! 5's
LucidLupin LeeBee - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
No trouble with the timing here! 555
Michael Pacholek - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Do you believe in five after five? We do.
carol - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
nicely done 555
Yet Another Dutchman - October 01, 2005 - Report this comment
544. Time flies when you're having fun. My clock ran out of batteries while I was reading this. Quite a thrill, Rick D.

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