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Song Parodies -> "Total Eclipse of the Starks"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Starks"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

A Game of Thrones parody, in case you hadn't guessed. If you haven't got past book three, or to the end of series three episode nine, look away now: spoiler alert.

I'd like to thank Michael Pacholek for the idea - one of those that once he'd said it, I couldn't get it out of my head. I had to take a few liberties with pacing to fit in the many quotes (and not too many of the quotes are paraphrased to help with pacing - I was surprised how many could be made to fit)
(Kings are crowned) Every week I tune in for a little fantasy, I'm watching Game of Thrones
(Men are drowned) Every week I tune in for "Winter is Coming", and "the Night is dark and full of fears"
(Burned a Hound) Every week I tune in for dragons and direwolves, and wargs controlling birds in the sky
(Blood abounds) Every week I tune in for a Valar Morghulis, High Valyrian for "All men must die"

Tyrion Lannister: I understand the way this game is played
Tyrion Lannister: I understand the way this game is played

Sansa Stark: Because this life is as fragile as a dream
Cersei, Queen: Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same
Sandor, Hound: No more are there gods than there are no true knights
Tyrion: Why are all gods such vicious ****s? Where is the god of tits and wine?

Targaryen, Daenerys: I will take what's mine with fire and blood
Targaryen, Daenerys: I will take what's mine with fire and blood

In this game of kings and lords
Of plate and mail and leather
Fear cuts deeper than swords
And we soon will find out whether
He will march with wilding hordes
You know nothing, Jon Snurr
You don't know who's an enemy, who's an ally
When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die (win or you die)
The more people you love, the weaker you are
I'm watching all the Lannisters taking on Starks
But now it's episode nine, and Edmure's gonna wed tonight
For Edmure's gonna wed tonight

Rob chose not the perfect time to marry for love, now he's just been taken apart
**** you, Walder Frey, a total eclipse of the Starks
Once upon a time he was King in the North, but now he's just a corpse in the dark
No one left to slay... a total eclipse of the Starks

[Instrumental as innumerable bodies fall to the ground]

Turn around Arya, Every one you know just hacked apart
Turn around Arya, Every one you know just hacked apart

T'was not a wedding, not a fight
It was more like execution
It'll never be put right
Who is left for retribution?
No, there will be no making it right
When the snows will fall
The lone wolf dies, but the pack will survive
But Martin's only written to the end of book five (end of book five)
All his characters die, just as they're making their marks
He's murdering Baratheons and killing off Starks
And there's two more books to write
George Martin better start tonight
George Martin better start tonight

Once upon a time there was a King in the North
But now there's just a corpse in the dark
Someone's gonna pay
A total eclipse of the Starks
Once upon a time Catelyn was alive
And Talisa naming child Eddard
Nothing more to say
A total eclipse of the Starks

Turn around Arya

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

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Callmelennie - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
My last name is Stark, and I've been following GoT, so I was just a tad bummed by the turn of events, even though I knew it was coming. Fantastic parody here -- SOTM IMHO
Phil Alexander - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
:-) Thank you, Callmelennie - just wait till you see the video ..
Matthias - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Not bad. I haven't followed GoT at all but you gave me an idea with this song: "Tony (The Iron Man) Stark"
Phil Alexander - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Hi Matthias - if you've not been following GoT, this probably won't mean very much.. I did quip yesterday that the only adult Stark left live was Tony, and got a very blank look in return. It's a bugger when you have to explain all your memes in a crossover gag :-)
Michael Pacholek - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Bravo. And I never could have gotten past writing the title. I did, however, have an idea: Richard Madden will no longer be playing Robb Stark... His real-life girlfriend is Jenna Louise Coleman... she's on "Doctor Who"... that show needs a new Doctor... and Madden is Scottish, therefore British... aaaaaaaand the Internet explodes.
Claude Prez - June 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Wow, I leave for like five years and I guess I did miss some great stuff after all....Love the lyrics, love the video. Epic. tmgltm and stuff. bravo

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