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Song Parodies -> "Won't See Eclipse, Nor Last Part"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Won't See Eclipse, Nor Last Part"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This will make a bit more sense if, A, you know I'm not a teenage girl and thus have no interest at all in The Twilight Saga (or American Idol, for that matter); and, B, you've seen the "Literal Video" for the OS. If you haven't, see, this, and return to this parody once you've stopped laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA
(instrumental opening)

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and I see if you're around.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of your whines.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the films have gone by.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I know it's only a flick.

(Turn around, Twilight.)
Every time, the script, it falls apart.
(Turn around, Twilight.)
Every time, the script, it falls apart.

(Turn around)
Every now and then you get a little bit restless
and you dream of someone wild.
(Turn around)
Every now and then you get a little bit hopeless
and you wish you were in Pattinson's arms.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry
I wasn't blessed with Tyler Lautner's nice face.
Every now and then I get a little bit horrified
like when I see that look in your eyes.

(Turn around, Twilight.)
Every time, the script, it falls apart.
(Turn around, Twilight!)
Every time, the script, it falls apart!

And I'm going out tonight
with a girl who thinks she's Stewart.
But we won't be holding tight
'cause the script smells like a sewer.
And the film she wants just isn't right.
It could not be more wrong.
Together we could watch it 'til the end of the night
but I don't wanna waste 12 bucks or 2 hours time!
(Two hours time!)
I don't know what to do when theater gets dark!
It couldn't be much dumber as an ep of "South Park!"

I am not watching "Twilight!"
I'm never gonna watch "Twilight!"
I'm never gonna watch...

Once upon a time, you were watching "Twilight."
"New Moon" proved you're still in the dark.

There's nothing I can do.
I won't see "Eclipse," nor last part.

Once upon a time, we were Ryan and Hanks.
But now you never could play that part.
There's nothing I can say.
I won't see "Eclipse," nor last part.

(instrumental break)

(Turn around, Twilight!)
Every time, the script, it falls apart!
(Turn around, Twilight!)
Every time, the script, it falls apart!

And I've had enough tonight!
Of those werewolves and bloodsuckers!
They're really making me uptight
even more than "Ice Road Truckers!"
And you'll never be making it right
'cause it's always been wrong!
Why do you waste your time on all those horror-film guys?
You'd be much better off if you're in "Lord of the Flies!"
(That film was bad too!)

You don't know what to do, you're always in the dark!
You can't even remember where your Hyundai is parked!

I gotta leave you tonight!
I'll see another film tonight!
Maybe "Zorro 3" with Catherine...

Once upon a time, you were watching "Twilight."
"New Moon" proved you're still in the dark.

There's nothing I can do.
I won't see "Eclipse," nor last part.

Once upon a time, you were the light of my life.
Now you prefer once-a-month bark.
There's nothing left to say!
I won't see "Eclipse," nor last part!

I won't see "Eclipse," nor last part!

Turn around, dimwit...

Turn around dimwit, turn around...

(instrumental close)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
We have much more common ground than either of us imagine! Well done! Also, for a hilarious spoof on this series and genre, go to Youtube and search for the video "Gone With The Wind With Vampires". Again, thanks for driving a stake through the heart of this annoying franchise. ;D
LadyEclips - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey Lord Pacholet, ~El Duke o ZORRO-3 ~, This song was indeed Bonnie's greatest hit !
Tommy Turtle - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
DK any of the background, and was looking for something astronomical (so to speak, heh heh). Props for attempting this monster OS, but IMHO, far too much of TOS was kept,, including a number of main lines and refrains quoted verbatim, or almost. I know that you're far more creative than that, Michael. Abstaining.
Michael Pacholek - August 04, 2010 - Report this comment
In my opinion, a parody is funnier when you CAN leave in some original lines.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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