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Song Parodies -> "Totally Kiss In My Cart"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Totally Kiss In My Cart"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Who among us has not heard the siren call of forbidden love in the supermarket?
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit hungry
and I gotta go on down.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit thirsty
and I need to get six bottles of beers.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
that I'll never find a good parking space.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit mental-fried
but then I see the checkout girl's eyes.

(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every bag I have might fall apart.
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every bag I have might fall apart.

(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a jar of spaghetti
sauce that tastes a little wild.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a loaf of whole-wheat bread
and it's lying like a child in my cart.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a pound of the peaches
and I know the juice will drip on the ground.
(Turn around)
Every now and then I get a little bit mental-fried
but then I see the checkout girl's eyes.

(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every bag I have might fall apart.
(Turn around, bright eyes!)
Every bag I have might fall apart!

But I need the food tonight!
And I need it more than ever!
And if you'll only bag it right
you'll be not just cute but clever!
And I'll go on and cook it up right
and I might ask you along!
Together we can eat it 'til the end of the night
but you're stuck at this register here all of the time!
(All of the time!)

I don't know what to do, forgotten where I've parked!
Still thinking 'bout that checkout girl who's giving off sparks!

I really need her tonight!
Our freshness gotta start tonight!
Our freshness gotta start to...

Once upon a time all my cupboard was bare.
Now she's there and playing that part.
There's nothing left to do
but totally kiss in my cart.

Once upon a time there was food on my shelf.
Now she knows the way to my heart.
There's nothing left to say.
We totally kiss in my cart!

(instrumental break)

(Turn around, bright eyes!)
Every bag I have might fall apart!
(Turn around, bright eyes!)
Every bag I have might fall apart!

But I need the food tonight!
And I need it more than ever!
And if you'll only bag it right
you'll be not just cute but clever!
And I'll go on and cook it up right
and I might ask you along!
Together we can eat it 'til the end of the night
but you're stuck at this register here all of the time!
(All of the time!)

I don't know what to do, forgotten where I've parked!
Still thinking 'bout that checkout girl who's giving off sparks!

I really need her tonight!
Our freshness gotta start tonight!
Our freshness gotta start to...

Once upon a time all my cupboard was bare.
Now she's there and playing that part.
There's nothing left to do
but totally kiss in my cart.

Once upon a time there was food on my shelf.
Now she knows the way to my heart.
There's nothing left to say.
We totally kiss in my cart!

We totally kiss in my cart!

(Have you any coupons?)

(Eighty-six dollars, twenty cents...)
I love it when she talks dirty.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 11
 11
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   17
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
But...I don't work in a supermarket...

Hey...wait a second! Are you two timing me with the checkout girl, Michael?
Wolverine - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
"Our freshness gotta start tonight"? Oh man. Here's your 5.55 in change, Michael. I do hope your checkout girl has aged past the "Do not serve until" date on her label.
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Clearly, Wolverine has seen the first 15 minutes of "City Slickers." As for Arwen: I haven't seen you in ages! Where've you been? With Vin? Orlando? The guy from "Prison Break"? You got a new one? So who left who? Anyway, Catherine, Angelina, Drew, Fergie (the Pea, not the Duchess) and Jessica (A., not B. or S.) aren't returning my calls either, so I figured it's time to move on. Clearly, we both have amends to make. One more thing: While this parody had nothing to do with baseball, I noticed the security code when I posted was "MM7," which struck a chord with me as a Yankee fan.
alvin - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
better than the OS
2Eagle - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Quite an effort. I wonder where you shop.
John Barry - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
555 for the bagman.
Jessica B. - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
For the record, I'm not returning your calls anymore either, now that I found out you're seeing that tramp from the express lane on the side! (Nice work, though.)
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
You dumped Derek J. for Justin T... and you're calling another woman a tramp? No wonder you got fired from "7th Heaven!"
Ann Coulter - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
But you know I'm still there for you Michael....

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