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Song Parodies -> "Totally Dissed Noah's Ark"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Totally Dissed Noah's Ark"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

so I make two tiny little mistakes - sheesh - talk about wrath management problems............(listen to the OS temporarily available here)

Turn around!
every now and then I get a little bit hopeful that ole Noah's turning round
Turn around!
every now and then I think I've caught the attention of the female of those two basset hounds
Turn around!
every now and then I get a little bit nervous that ole Noah's sailed a little too far
Turn around!
every now and then I get a little bit terrified that that's the last I'll see of his Ark
Turn around!
youse guys

and to make things worse it's getting dark

Turn around!
youse guys

wish I'd helped him build that freakin Ark!


coz I need it now tonight
yes I need it more than ever
oh if he welcomed me inside
I would be his pal forever
and if God peeks I'm happy to hide
so his wrath aint unleashed
this weather's unbelievable, aint nothing that's dry
the rain's been pelting down non-stop for thirty-nine nights
I don't know what to do - the water's up to here
Look it up in Genesis to get an idea
coz if I don't get inSIDE
my afterlife'll start tonight
my afterlife'll start tonight

Once upon a time I was sinning away
life was just a walk in the park
I so regret the day
I totally dissed Noah's ark

Once upon a time I saw Noah at work
and made a pretty stupid remark
why was I so dumb?
I totally dissed Noah's ark


[ more lightning, thunder and torrential rain ]


Turn around!
youse guys

D'oh! to make it worse I see a shark!

Turn around!
youse guys

Where the friggin hell is Noah's Ark!!


coz I need it rightaway
yes I need it more than ever
that shark is heading right this way
gotta think of something clever
think I'll punch him real hard on the nose
whoops that might've been dumb
coz now the freakin shark is getting pretty irate
he's rounding up his mates - I mighta made a mistake
I don't know what to do (I always got poor marks)
I'm floating in an ocean and I'm pissing off sharks
I'm in big trouble tonight
my sins are gonna end tonight
forever's gonna start tonight

Just an hour ago I was waving my arms
hoping to attract Noah's Ark
whad I go and do?
I totally piss off a shark!

I totally dissed Noah's ark
then
I totally pissed off a shark

(I am SOOOOO stupid!)


(weakly)
...turn around youse......gurgle gurgle...........

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   35
 34
 35
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Cat - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu! I never would have thought of this...this is really great!
Matthias - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
"I'm floating in an ocean and I'm pissing off sharks" made me totally stop singing and laugh out loud. Not lol, but actually laugh out loud. Brilliantly religious!
Jeff Reuben - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
The title caught my eye, and the song was absolutely brilliant! One of those "wish I'd thought of that" ideas. Great job.
Michael Pacholek - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I just hope you don't get a bunch of 2s for ratings!
TJC - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic, brilliant and all them other superlatives! One might even say: "Your perfect sea script's a home run!"
Ann Hammond - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
What Matthias said
alvin - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
i love the biblical parodies and this is one of the funniest i've seen...great stuff
Wolverine - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Anyone who writes a parody this funny deserves forgiveness. Thanks for writing it Stu.
Phil Alexander - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I've often wondered whether the person who told Noah what to do was an arkangel...
Lee O. J. - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Genesis. Uh, I mean, 'genius'.
AFW - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Super funny switching to what looks like a quite long and difficult song...555
Kristof Robertson - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Another brilliantly clever bit of writing to a totally original concept by Lord McArthur. You, sir, ROCK! 555
stuart mcarthur - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks Cat, for the challenge - I reckon I can honestly say I've never enjoyed writing a parody so much :-)

thanks Matthias - yes, that was MY fave line, if I say so myself

thanks for dropping by Jeff :-)

thanks MP......thanks TJC - what a fertile brain

thanks ann and alvin

yeah he wasn't all that bad, Wolverine, just a dude out of luck - forgiveness is the least He can do I think - thanks mate

nice one Phil

thanks for the read Leo - mutual respect mate

thanks AFW - it was sort of long - I've been told there's a longer version but this was the only one I had in itunes - but it's not so difficult with the longer lines and all

thanks Kristof - I wish I had a ROCK at the time (and a twig for the friggin dove) - see who'd be laughing then, sharks...(grumble)
Jack Wilson - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Ive had an idea for this OS since 2005,actually two "Totally Sniffed Out a Fart" and "Totally licked By the Dog"
Rex - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I've always wondered - did Noah's ark have floodlights? Divine work, Stuart.
stuart mcarthur - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
love the subs and the idea of the first one Jack - I'd be interested to see how you tackle it

thanks Rex, good question - maybe they just used their male and female red-nosed reindeers to guide them
Peregrin - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Arks and ye shall receive 3 x 5's Stu :)
Lucy Branston's Great-Granddaughter - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Liked it very much. I found it really works better with the music as a background than without. An original take on the Biblical story. Quite an achievement as - of course - the original song is very, very wordy. 555.
McKludge - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
.... ..... ...... huh, oh yeah, sorry, I was distracted by that enormous mane on Bonnie Tyler's head. Noah waya I notta giva 5s to this.
Chris Bodily TM - June 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I would have thought this was an epic jab on the Bruce Almighty sequel, Evan Almighty, in which Steve Carrell's Evan is chosen by Morgan Freeman's God to build an ark and be the new Noah. I honestly thought this was the better idea. Loved the title sub and the song choice. I love how you totally dissed Noah's Ark than totally pissed off a shark. You are forgiven 555 sins.
McKludge - June 12, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You know when I've heard a good parody? When I hear an OS that I truly despise, but I think of these lyrics instead, and it makes it enjoyable. 555 from all dese guys!
Agrimorfee - June 13, 2007 - Report this comment
I cannot help but recall Bill Cosby's Noah routine..."Right! What's an ark?...Am I on Candid Camera!?" Totally shot that out the park. 555
Dee Range - June 15, 2007 - Report this comment
You might have dissed the ARK, but you didn't miss the boat to the Amiright Hall Of Fame. I can see how this one was fun for you to write, Stu...I laughed all the way through this. From the great title sub to the shark-infested ending, this is totally, insanely good.
Peter Andersson - June 16, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - The animals on the ark came in pairs but the 5s for this parody comes in triads! :-)
Max Power - June 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Great arc.
bobpiecheese - June 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) BEST Biblical parody EVER! I think you've gotten yourself on the podium again!
wannabemustangjockey - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Haha, took the easy way out did you? You parodied a shorter version of the OS, apparently, but it's still quite good.
The Charnstar - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
AWESOME! Best Biblical parody EVER!... Yeah so what bobpiecheese said
Below Average Dave - June 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, I'll say one of the best I've read about Noah's Ark, and I'd say one of your more impressive pieces I've read to date, which is saying a lot, quite impressive.
Jason - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very well done. A possible SOTM candidate?
Kristof Robertson - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is probably in my top 10 of Old Testament parodies of Bonnie Tyler songs written by Melbourne-based authors....OK then, top 20....;-)
Joking aside, this is magnificent. I'm already polishing the PAOTY trophy in anticipation of sending it downunder...bravo, mate!
Jack Wilson - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome, didnt listen to the OS cause it gets stuck in my head, and I dont really need it stuck there,but it was still awesome! see above!
Chris Frederick - July 01, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Excellent, and funny. Good call setting it to an OS with a bunch of crashing cymbals and powerful vocals, too, which works well with the "wrath management issues" theme.
Matthias - March 24, 2008 - Report this comment
One of your best parodies, and trust me Stu when each one of your parodies is parodic gold becoming one of your best parodies is a hard goal to reach, but this song did reach that goal.
Red Ant - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Love the parody, Stu, though I was hoping it would be done to the full version of TOS. No "chum"p change effort here though, and still very 555 worthy.
Mikey Squirrel - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTY- Can't believe I missed the boat (or should I say ark?) on this one. Very well done and funny, Stu.
Agrimorfee - October 19, 2009 - Report this comment
See Stu just has to sit back and wait for the right letter to come up to run with the gold. Tears streaming down my eyes once again, just reading this, not even listening to the music!
Guy - October 20, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC05T)

Brilliant, I should have seen this one coming. Well done. I ditto Matt's laughter about "I'm floating in an ocean and I'm pissing off sharks"
Leo Keough - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(T) An epic saga of biblical proportions!!!...555!!!
Fiddlegirl - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
OMG... I didn't leave a comment? I *know* I voted... must have been laughing too hard!!! ;)
Noah-one else would have come up with this idea! I loved it!!! :D

@ Leo: Thanks for the heads-up! :)
Melanie Lee - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Oh, man, this is great! Yes, your agenda is showing a little, but who cares! Hilarious. 555 fathoms!
DJ Blaze - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
If I wasn't Christian, that's how I'd feel.... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! 555
bobpicheese - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) See above! Still awesome!
Below Average Dave - November 01, 2009 - Report this comment
See above
Red Ant - November 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Sea above! Great revisiting this one Stu, and I think I like the shorter version better anyway. =)
Stuart McArthur - November 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Belated and apologetic thanks to everyone who commented on this in the last 2 and a half years, esp. those who've since commented twice. eg. Ag, Matthias, Dave, Red Ant, Bobpie, etc
Stuart McArthur - November 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl eh? I thought that was strange. How would she know me so well? But I certainly didn't pick it. You're clever and complex TFGT. Must be something in those peri(wink)les.

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