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Song Parodies -> "Totally Fissed as a Part"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Totally Fissed as a Part"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit tipsy as the room goes round and round
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit thirsty and I have another one or two beers
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit wobbly, and find it hard to walk a straight line
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit paranoid and then I try to drink the bar dry
(Spinning round, fall down)
Every now and then fissed as a part
(Spinning round, fall down)
Every now and then fissed as a part

(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit serious and argue and debate
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit nauseous and wonder was it something I ate
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I'm gonna punch out this guy
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I get a little bit bulletproof, then I go out and look for a fight
(Spinning round, throw up)
Every now and then fissed as a part
(Spinning round, throw up)
Every now and then fissed as a part

And I love you all tonight, you're my besht friends forever
And she's a bit alright, though her tongue is hard as leather
And I've only been drinking all night, and the money's all gone
I wanna take a pee but there's one hell of a line
My bladder's nearly bursting so I'm goin' outside (going outside)
I can't see what I'm doing, I'm out here in the dark
Standin' in the parking lot, I'm pissing on cars

I didn't mean to get tight
I'm never gonna get that tight
I'm never gonna get THAT tight

Once upon a time I was sober, upright; now I'm crawling round the car park
Sure, I'm not to blame, totally fissed as a part
Now it's closing time, I am falling down drunk - drinking oh so much is an art
Always goes that way, totally fissed as a part

(Spinning round, throw up)
(Spinning round, throw up)

(Spinning round)
Every now and then I try to say "The Leith Police dismisseth us"
(Spinning round)
But every now and then I know it comes out with enough saliva to coat a double-decker bus
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe can stop me heading off to the loo
(Spinning round)
Every now and then I know that my head is spinning and I can see that there are two of you
(Spinning round, throw up)
Always seem to end up as the newt
(Spinning round, throw up)
Always seem to end up as the newt

And I need you now tonight, as the deshugnated driver
And if I head for home this tight, I know I'll not arrive-a
'Cause I know I'd be walking all night, wandering on
I know that you're annoyed because it's my turn to drive
I'm feeling like I need to vomit all of the time (all of the time)
I can't see what I'm doing, I'm out here in the dark
I'm filling up the driver's seat of a softtop car

I didn't mean to get tight
I'm never gonna get that tight
I'm never gonna get THAT tight

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but then I threw up into her car
Nothing I can do, I'm totally fissed as a part
Once upon a time I was going to drive, now it seems I'm trying to walk
Nothing I can say, I'm totally fissed as a part
I'm totally fissed as a part
Totally fissed as a part
(Spinning round, throw up)
(Spinning round, throw up)
(Spinning round)
(Ooo-oo oo-hoo)
(Uh... urgh)
(Uh... urgh)
(Hooo oo-hurghlbrurghlbleah)
Interesting note: "The Leith Police dismisseth us" is a phrase that the police used to use in the days before breathalysers to see if someone was fully in control of themselves (along with walking a straight line and other control tests). However, I know very few people who *do* manage to say it perfectly first time, so I guess we must all be piss artists...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Your LAC (Laughter Action Count): 555. Issue that man an SOTM!
Rick C - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Sheer genius! Loved the "enough saliva to coat a double-decker bus" line. 555
Michael Pacholek - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Gimme the keys, you're too funny to drive.
Kristof Robertson - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Too many good lines to start mentioning them all...methinks he doth speak from experience! 555
Scathe - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good drinking parody, Phil.
Red Ant - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't remember this OS too well but funny, especially "I'm filling up the driver's seat of a softtop car".
Phil Alexander - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
:-) Cheersh, guysh. Hic!
Johnny D - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody rocked my whirled !!
Dee Range - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Love drinking parodies, and this is no exception...it's exceptional. Loved the spinning around directions. High 5's
Arwen - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL, Phil...excellent job here...I'm with KR, too many good things to mention...=)

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