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Song Parodies -> "Scratching At Myself"

Original Song Title:

"Dancing With Myself"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Idol

Parody Song Title:

"Scratching At Myself"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

As Weird Al demonstrated in his Like A Surgeon music video, a lot of things that are lewd when women do them are just ludicrous when guys do them. As compensation for the whole Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction fiasco, I recommend getting Weird Al (or someone like him) up on stage in an outfit that looks just like the one Janet Jackson was wearing, and having him do a song something like this for the half-time show.
At the last year's Superbowl,
A breast was flashing like a peep-show,
But no time for reflection:
I'm their latest selection,
And I'm scratching at myself.

Well, it's a crowded place tonight,
And I'm a conspicuous sight!
See, down in my thong
They put three shiny leaves
So I'm scratching at myself.

Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
They made me wash my pits
With poison sumac, and it's
Got me scratching at myself.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Now I can't say why in the world
They'd rather see me than a girl
Who'd show off her chest
And briefly flash a breast,
But I'm scratching at myself.

So they think another wink
At nudity will raise a stink?
If I had the chance,
I'd pick a different dance,
And not be scratching at myself.

Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
If they must abuse me,
Beggars can't be choosy,
So I'm scratching at myself

Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Aaah-owww!

[Griping and moaning chorus]

Well, so I'm broadcast to all the world
As this travesty's unfurled!
Please avert your eyes;
Pass this channel by
While I'm scratching at myself.

Yeah, this stinks! That's what I think;
I hope their Nielson ratings sink!
I can feel the ants
Crawling around in my pants;
They've got me scratching at myself.

Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
They paid me in advance
To do this terrible dance;
I've got these fire ants
Crawling around in my pants!
If I had the chance,
I'd kick them all in their pants!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!

Oh, oh, oh--

[Instrumental]

(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh--)

So I'm watched all over the world
As this travesty's unfurled:
A thousand perverts watchin'
As I'm grabbin' my crotch, an'
I'm a-scratching at myself.

Well, I think this really stinks!
I'll fire my agent methinks,
If I had a chance,
I'd lose my coat and pants
While I'm a-scratching at myself.

Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!
If I had a chance,
I'd lose my coat and pants
--If I had a chance--
Also my underpants
--If I had the chance--
But they might look askance...

(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh.)

(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
Oh, ain't this rich?
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
How I itch...
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
How I itch, itch, itch...
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
...itch, itch, itch...
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
...itch, itch, itch...
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
...itch, itch, itch...
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
...itch, itch, itch, itch, itch!
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
Aaah-oow!
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
(Oh, oh, oh, scratching at myself!)
[etc...]
I mean, hey, it beats MTV's idea of a half-time show!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Like it alot, 555. Forget how long this song was, and thanks for not being lame and not doing the whole song PS- Check your other parodies for some interesting comments ( if you have not done so already ).
Joanie - April 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Who ever made this up you're a STUPID DOUCHE!!! YOU STUPID RETARDED DOUCHE BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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