All the old waiting on the road
They do the strand trance don't you know.
"If they move too quick (oh whey oh)"
They're crashing down like dominos.

All the bizarre cars by the mile
They got the jitney on a let.
Old Cadillacs (oh whey oh)
They zap the gas like a Tagamet.

Foreign types with the big tail pipes
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
DON'T HAVE A CONNIPTION!

At work computers on a craze
They spin around and they work no more,
They had the moves (oh whey oh)
You lost your "save" then forevermore.

Call and get bids not quick these kooks
They like the junk and will charge a grand,
When the browser's fixed (oh whey oh)
They're wanting prices gargantuan.

All the bids in the storeplace say,
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
DON'T HAVE A CONNIPTION!

(musical interlude, then whistling)

Dialed your sweet up but the phones are hacked
Lift the arm then you put it back,
Life is hard today (oh whey oh)
So take it in stride, shut up yer yak.

If you want to fix all the props
You're having to put up with that slop.
Give song and dance (oh whey oh)
Spin that yarn and all that crock.

Doctor says disease - must use pen.
Those party boys with their gremlin!
Got my chocolate now (oh whey oh)
They walk and dine like barbarians.

All the shops in the mall they must wait
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
DON'T HAVE A CONNIPTION!
DON'T HAVE A CONNIPTION!