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Song Parodies -> "Klause, Do the Hedge"

Original Song Title:

"Close To the Edge"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Klause, Do the Hedge"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

This is the longest parody I've done here. In 1971, Yes released "Close To the Edge", an 18-min opus that forever defined "Progressive Rock" It was filled with, as Tom Lehrer said about Gilbert and Sullivan "A lot of words and music, signifying nothing". I've now corrected that. Here's a sad tale of a poor german immigrant named Klaus.....Oh who am I kidding! I just went throught the hefty original lyrics and wrote as fast as I could. I was almost sure no one else had tackled this baby.
1. The Overtime I Charge

I work for a big millionaire, I groundskeep his estate
I rearrange the landscape for a very meager rate
And achieve it all with implements I tow behind my car
And waste the fruit that drops into the yard and crushing all the flowers
I am ridding trees of insects and I am pruning every one
I water all the shrubbery, make sure they get some sun
I take away the leaves that seem to move with every wind that's blowing

Down from the ledge, 'round every corner
I hear the call, I hear the call
Klaus, do the hedge, needs to be trimmer
I do it all, I do it all

Got a raise around the end of just last summer
Boss man said he thought I did a real nice job
Was about to quit that day the chainsaw got me in the knee
Getting out of minor surgery I worried
Missing work I knew I'd get so far behind
When I came on back I knew the boss had not forgot my name

Klaus, do the hedge, you'll need a blower
Then go and edge, got you a mower
Reason the grass is high
I mow up, I mow down
Seems like it's not over and done
Planting a pine, fill in the hole

2. Very Vast Terrain

My eyes were filled with pollen, I was younger than this once, I think
I changed when my divorce was final, came back from the brink
I took this job to show that bitch I can't afford to pay
That lawyer sent a bunch of bills and that's the reason I still here today
Was alimony that forced me to stay and plant some seeds
As I gave up my practice to work here pulling the weeds
It's my reward for having kids I must support and hear the yelling

Klaus, do the hedge, Klaus, clean the corner
Now you can edge, don't have a Miller
Klaus, you're not done, time now to water
Down near the pond, stop up the river

Suddenly I see my life laid out before me
All in all the journey seems to be a pain
It's not part of any reality that I've ever seen and known
Always something, and my back I'm always wrenching
Grassy knolls and that always grow too fast and high
As I cross from side to side I view a very vast terrain

Klaus, do the hedge, need a new trimmer
Sick of the edge, I'm late for dinner
Reasons the grass is high
I mow up, I mow down.......

3. I Mow Up, I Mow Down

In her white lace, I can see the big man's daughter in the garden
Wearing skimpy outfits
As I push this noisy mower on the plain
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)

Two million dollars she's not satisfied
She hangs around waiting for dad to die, someday
The big inheritance she hopes to get
The giant lotto hasn't come quite yet, her way
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)

If I were daddy I would cut her out
If she were my kid there would be no doubt, no pay
Who am I kidding? I'm a simple grunt
There's nothing I can tell that high-priced girl- no way
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)
(I mow up, I mow down)

4. Reasons For Ban

The time for my retirement is as distant as it seems
The constant bags of fertilizer make me want to scream
Insecticides are coming back in my face from the breeze
My allergies are kicking up- I cannot stop a mighty sneeze

Ah-choo Ah-choo

Then according to the butler I have now been freed from hell
The old man bought the farm and little darling will now sell
This house will be torn down and all the garden will be down the well

On this hill I stand and look at my creation
Pretty soon they're gonna build a mall right here
Once it's gone I'll never have to hear "The Man" remark

Klaus, do the hedge, Prune all the roses
Packed up the tools, rolled up the hoses
Reason I'm not the guy
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
I got canned, I got fired
We're around and about. You'll find us.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Now I see why no one else tackled this baby.
Dave Westbay - November 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Bravissimo, Rick! Amazing that you pulled this one off, and made it funny as hell to boot! I want to see the video! :-) Dave Westbay
David Chrenko - December 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Close to a Six, maybe a Seven. Brilliant, Rick. It's always been true with you - the tougher the challenge, the better your results. The sheer volume of lyrics in Close To The Edge provided you with the opportunity to get into some great story telling. This is a "MUST READ" PARODY.
Absolutely Write - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Only 5 of you looked at this parody?! This is very intelligent, funny work. (Not wriiten by a member of Rick's family).
Leah Lockhart - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, it's funny, but I don't know the song!!! Rick, I think you're doing it on purpose now just so I don't harass you!
Mari D - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick, I don't normally send you comments on your parodies because it's easier to do in person. It's also kind of sappy for "the wife" to comment anyway, but what the hell. Having been around during its creation (and the creation of a gazillion others!), I'm still amazed at how good it is and how little time it took for you to do it!
Johnny D - December 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Got me wishin' I knew the tune, dude. Impressive body of work.
Rick Wakemeupman - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Cool lyrics. Sorry, don't know the song, man.
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry I didn't read this sooner. DKTOS, like everyone else, but damn if this doesn't make me wanna go out and buy the friggin' album just to hear what this sounds like! So you did it on the fly? That's just great! Sometimes the muse hits like a ton of bricks and it's a piece of cake (to mix a couple metaphors). Great story! 555
Adagio - July 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(abc) Like most I DKTOS. That must have been one huge lawn though judging by the length of the parody. Good job.
Johnny D - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above...parody's still an awesome piece of wordsmithing.
John Jenkins - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I was going to give this parody a 545, but factoring in the degree of difficulty, it gets 555.
martha - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
really impressive stuff Rick....
Jeff Reuben - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Didn't know the original, although I could probably dig up an old Yes album from somewhere
Langdon - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
This was fantastic. It was great putting on the song and singing your lyrics. You even got the accents right! This is fantastic work. My favorite song in the world, based on Siddhartha, turned into a strange version of I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe). I never thought I'd hear a song from Yes's magnum opus get turned into a song from Genesis's magnum opus. Was that on purpose?
Porfle Popnecker - November 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Awesome parody. I tackled this one myself a while back:

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