Mesmerized by the form in the bowl
Set bowels moving
Oh, man, work of art
Through that sphincter hard
Worked to push that massive thing away
From his buns

In this room, my study
He felt such relief so completely
Did his fill, now it lies
So sublime, oh let spray come cleanse the hole

In the deep porcelain
He does call, he cries, "Come here darling"
And his lady, so naïve, she
Jokes have caught her
And for wrong reasons rake her

In the stink of the room, she cries
Helpless her nose concealing

This gag's too much, it burns
You are not my hero
As laughs ensue he will flush
All but to see the lump go down

Now it goes, disappears
Go to work on high
So transformed him
Realizing that form out of crap
A jerk, so she called him
She would swear him
She would cuss him
All aglow was his mood worth all the fight
He would dodge her
He would move fast
Laughing as he ran
Highest odors reaching others

Did her eyes see the turd of the century?
So ungainly
Did she run, did she scream
Oh, that wife so cracks up me

Like rotton eggs, it reeked
Once she knew the glory
As nature calls and you must
Distribute all those many meals sometime
I'm sure You go.

When I came home that night
That aroma lingers
I was ready for fun
Looking for my Hon
Love set to go

As I looked through the haze
Thought maybe she cooked
I saw a small light
To the head, I heard it rise
Thought it went away
What a big fright

There I viewed my big turd of the century
Wet and gamey
On the floor like a log
Plumbing broke, whining, grieving loudly

It was too much, I see
Now there's water pouring
As fate befalls, we'll both remember
That day many years from now