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Song Parodies -> "Dolt Gets Tooled Again"

Original Song Title:

"Won't Get Fooled Again"

Original Performer:

The Who

Parody Song Title:

"Dolt Gets Tooled Again"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
Put a nailgun through my feet
Fixed with skill - my toes, to ‘crete
And then orals of bad words did broke the dawn
And then blood, it spurted on
This misjudgement was so wrong
Can’t deny that a spot of trouble’s - pronged

My buddies chat ‘bout a quick resolution
Shaking: words fill the air with pollution
Dialed and did get the amb’lance around
Slip on that rebar and splay
Up-on rusty lathe
Paramedic, he grinned and say:
A dolt gets tooled again!

Blade hit on my thumb
And shaved it all less long
Must be extricated from skillsaws that maul
Now acetelene’s aflame
And blistery‘s arranged
And the spanners, they all closed on ill-placed wart

Drill bit went splat, eyes see re-distrbution
Mate! Go now for saline-y solution!
Sliced my skin as the blades went around
Picked up ‘lectric saw by chain
Trust me - digits drained
And I get ill at ease with pain
A dolt gets tooled again!
Oh no!

I proved to self how it felt to be fried
‘Lectrocution saw me left half alive
I'll get all disabled when files split my thigh
And a toe that was tool-incised severed lies

Screw ya!

Yeah, blowtorch causes heat!
Cooks any bit you want, for free
And a glue gun to the face? My, oh my...
And those parts I have got left
Are the parts that should take fright
Should have seen the danger, heeded warning light...

Contibuting to my own persecution
Is the problem (sure ain’t the solution)
Slicing skin - that’s a dangerous sound
Pliers, they cause scars, dismay...
Screw-driv-ers, they flay
Is there nothing to ease the pain?
A dolt gets tooled again!
Dolt gets tooled again
Oh no!


Heed the guffaws
Save up the rolled gauze

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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MasonR - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
You nailed this one!
Phil Nelson - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Hilarious! I guess they didn't follow safety precautions. Would've been cool to see this performed at the Superbowl. 5's
John Barry - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job. Great to have you back.
carly_carlz - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Not bad. If you haven't I suggest you look up my parody of this same song WON'T GET SUED AGAIN.
Tommy Turtle - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I knew the theme was familiar recently, but not c_c's, despite same OS and funny. It was Rex Ungericht a week or so ago:
but this was a nice, complex variation and a wide spanner. (NOTE to US readers: That's a "wrench".) 555

Would you consider doing a cross-cultural follow-up, "The Scar-Mangled Spanner?"
Fiddlegirl - March 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Painfully vivid--- Ouch! 555 insurance claims, I suppose... ;)
Ann Hammond - March 06, 2010 - Report this comment
in stiches
Michael (Not the Tool Man) Pacholek - March 08, 2010 - Report this comment
This parody has MORE POWER! Arrgh arrgh arrgh arggh!
mandamoo - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Fab visuals! Good job OH&S are on the ball!!

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