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Song Parodies -> "Bolas"

Original Song Title:

"Lola"

Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Bolas"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Never underestimate the power of balls on strings, my friends.
I found them in a bag from a chest I stole
All that I could take without cops causin'
Bullet comas, C-O-M-A, comas
I may be a thief but I don't want to stab
You'll land on your face after I aim true and
Throw these bolas, B-O-L-A, bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

Yes, I've never been the assassin type
I'd rather wrap legs tight and so I let these fly
Oh, my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
A hefty thump and you're out cold like that
Which will then let me rummage through your vest and pants
Oh, my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

I'll ransack your place in just one night
While 'round your ankles wrapped all tight
Is one thick rope with two balls, all I need
To take all your toys and wallets home with me
Well, I'm not the world's most hon'rable guy
But I won't kill for my crimes, I just impede well
With my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

Might mess up your face
When you hit the floor
I'll keep keepin' score
All the times that I'll need
To use this here chloroform, you see

Wish I could say that it's always the same
Consistent "consciousness goes away"
With my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Jerks will avoid that ploy cause they're jerks
A good thing drugs or a good wrench still work
Still keep my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

"Well, if they're so damn effective, how
Do you take 'em with you while escapin'?" Here's how:
Bolas are pretty easy to craft
Long run out of what I found in that bag
I can't be the world's most trackable man
Each one looks diff'rent, man, most folks gasp at the craft
That's in my bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas
Bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas

I very briefly had some bolas in one of my current D&D campaigns. However, they ran off my Strength stat, which was 8, so I gave them to the party barbarian, who never used them and then left the campaign about a month later. Oh, well. Maybe some day...

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