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Song Parodies -> "Bleach, Baby"

Original Song Title:

"Beach Baby"

Original Performer:

The First Class

Parody Song Title:

"Bleach, Baby"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

More Shakespeare.... [1] And just when we thought yesterday's wine spill was cleaned up, it got even worse. :-(

OS video here. Recorded by a British group in London, which is sort of far from Los Angeles -- or from a beach, for that matter. What do they think this is, "fiction", or something? I mean, the *nerve* of some people, *really*.... ;)

(Oh, no, oh, whoa, woe, look here:)
(Guests go; rug [throw]: oy, vay, mir)

Do you remember just the other day (uh-uh-oh)
When everybody drove to our house: play? (there they go...)
Whatever happened!?! Such a filthy floor!
What fun, planned: brew-bust; now it's smelly and stale

Remember wadin' through the slimy slop (ewie, yuk!)
What guests were spewin' wasn't soda pop (messy muck)
Some Delta Sigma guys had hurled on door:
A puked-up Snickers™ and some moldy ale

Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Heavy demand:
College guys and the feminine gender
Some dude is snor- -in'; can't walk any more from the moonshine

Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Always on hand
Strong as lye, when you've been on a "bender"
Barfin' ain't fun when the drinking is done, gotta say

Bleah, I never thought I'd condescend
Boo hoo, da*n, Be scrubbin' from a kneel and bend (Ouch! Yow!)

Af-ter plays:
Piper: pays
Clorox™ stays
Don't think they're fading awaaaaaay!

(Sob, sob, sob; slobby mob: blob of glob here)
(Drunk nerd; My word! Wet turd smear)

They couldn't wait? Ejaculation stain (Oh, no, NO!)
They went too far and took it all the way (oh, Oh, OH!)
We shoulda' told 'em: "Wear that rubber thing"
Today they won't remember zany fling

Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Call me a fan (come save my can)
For its versatile whitening splendor (yes, any stain, can dismember)
Difficult chores I once squawked and deplored: viewed in new light

Bleach, baby
Bleach, baby
Loved through the land (Swine Flu, be da*ned) [2]
You can buy it from hundreds of vendors
Scrubbing is done, and you've more time for fun every day

[long interlude of incoherent moans and gripes at sore knees and aching backs]

(Barf, uck, up-Chuck, yucky lump)
(Roach clip, cheese dip, what a dump)

Bleach baby, Bleach baby
Peach, maybe? Reach, pray: me
Leach? Rabies? Screech! - scabies
Do it: Go, just do it....

[repeat with equal parts bleach and elbow grease until Code Enforcement Board removes "Condemned" sticker from front door]

[1] Written by John Carter and his collaborator-wife (Don't even *think* about it, Ms. Fiddlegirl! ;), Gillian "Jill" Shakespeare. Carter was born John Shakespeare, but probably got tired of all the same old jokes....
People who make fun of other people's names should be Bard, don't you think?

(Sheesh, we *try* to get away from endless parodies of Shakespeare, but look what a little background info turns up...)

[2] The Clorox web site linked in the outro credits has some claims about their product (admittedly a strong disinfectant) and the H1N1 flu. Didn't read it. No opinions here. (TT just stays as far underwater as possible, anyway ;)
Snickers ® Mars, Incorporated. Clorox ® The Clorox Company. All else © 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Son of a Bleach! You two really cleaned up on this one! ;D
Patrick - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
A visual image a bit tough to "stomach" this early in the morning. I always liked the original song. I never could have imagined in a million years what you've done with it. Folks around here seem to enjoy scatalogical material, so you should really "clean up" on the 555's today.
TJC'hlorine - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Yewe tewe really know how to 'CARPE soDIEM (hypochlorite, that is)!

Ever breaking the bonds that tie other unortho- er, unoxidized, acerbic parodies to their moribund ways... I'm reducin' it to this--yer pH is off the scale at 15!
Mark Scotti - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Very pungent puns!!!
Phil Nelson - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Delightfully goofy as always
AFW - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Cleanest parody I've seen today...
Fiddlegirl - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Sparklingly fresh thanks to OMR, Patrick, TJC'hlorine (hehe), Mark Scotti, Phil Nelson, and AFW ! :D
Warren Baker - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm an Oxyclean man myself, but bleach should do quite nicely. Besides, bleach has better rhyme potential. Very funny!
FG @ TT - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Re: Footnote 1-- Not to worry-- you may rest assured that *Mr.* Fiddlegirl is not too keen on the idea, either. ;)
FG @ Warren - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Sorry... comments crossed, so-- Thanks!!!! :)
Christie Marie M - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
A bleachy-clean parody, indeed! You scrubbed up really well with this one! Take some sparkling clean 555's!
OxiClean Legal Dept. @ Warren Baker - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir, kindly see the outro credits in yesterday's parody (click the link in the intro at the top here) for the correct spelling of our product. ...and make sure you capitalize all letters in SPAM™ if you are refering to vaguely-edible canned meat vs. annoying email.

Very truly yours, Watts, Innit, Formee & Co. , P. A. [1]

[1] "pathetic a-holes" - which is why law firms add this after their names.
Wrraen Kaber@OCLD - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I plotitely recline.
Tommy Turtle - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: We'll thank you not to use that kind of language in here, Sir. ... oh, wait.... :-D

Patrick: Might be better to read our stuff later in the day :-) One of my fave OS, too - underplayed. And, uh, "Unimaginable Title Switches 'n Concepts R Us" :-D
(The unimaginable, we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer.)

Hypo-Critic-al: Hope that's "potenz Humor" ;) -- quite a "salty" take on TT's slogan, "Carpe Lectulus" (Seize the Couch). ... Do you think ChuckyG will give us per-(so)diem pay for this? Thanks for the ultra-base-ic, but far-beyond-basic, v'c -- even NaOH couldn't "neutralyze" our gratitude, and that's no lye! (or alkalie!)

Mark Scotti: We're trying to get the smell out as fast as we can... . thanks!

Phil Nelson: Us? Goofy? wha? What did we say? (seriously, thanks for v/c!)

AFW: One of the cleaner parodies to come out of TT too, I'm sure! (wink, nudge)

Warren Baker: Let it be a challenge to you. -- I was about to start ad-libbing an OxiClean parody comment, but as the hookers say, why give it away? Look for it on Thursday, with credit to you for the inspiration. Thanks for v/c.

Fiddlegirl: Or so he *says* (no fool, he). You'd best not suggest it, lest the answer prove shocking (ducks flying frying pan #34,627) xoxoxo muah :-D

Christie Marie M: Peachy-keen, shiny thanks!

OxiLawyers: So, how much did you charge your client for that 30-second posting? $250? $500? pbbthhhhh.

Wrraen Kaber: Taht's tlelnig tehm! Yaw two goe!
Meriadoc - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I always wanted to do Leech Baby to this one, but we never got around to it. Settled for Leech Your Children. But anyway, great images as always!
Tommy Turtle - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Meriadoc: Here's a round tuit -- so no more excuses! :-) ... and thanks for v/c!

Warren Baker: The OxiClean™ parody is done. See ya there on Thursday, and thanks for the idea!

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