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Song Parodies -> "(It's a) B*tch To Spill Wine, Man!"

Original Song Title:

"Wichita Lineman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Glen Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"(It's a) B*tch To Spill Wine, Man!"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics


I spilled the wine; you grabbed the Bounty™
The entire dang roll
Rushin' to the scene, viewed the puddle of Bordeaux
It was a situation dire; Persian rug now on the line
It's a b*tch to clean wine, man; so shrill, do I whine

My woe; no Scotchgard application™; Would have paid off, it's plain
And goodness knows that OxiClean™ won't ever lift this stain
Will it bleed through? It's no fun to... and don't want to spend my time:
Beat, with switch, on the line, da*n! It's still full of grime!

[Interlude -- repeated washings, rug treatments, spot removers...]

I've Resolved™ that I won't Shout™ blue; Armed and Hammered™ All™ the Tide™
It's a b*tch to spill wine, man! Look *at* me -- I'm cry'n'!

[sounds of scrubbing, beating, cursing, screaming, to end (of patience)]


Bounty paper towels ® Procter and Gamble Co. Scotchgard protective coatings ® 3M. OxiClean (commonly, but mistakenly, referred to as "OxyClean") ® Church & Dwight Co, Inc.. (Fun fact: They were also credited as the owner of the Trojan ® brand of condoms, here. Guess if the one fails, you can clean up the stains with the others.) Resolve carpet cleaner ® Reckitt Benckiser, Inc. Shout stain remover ® S. C. Johnson & Son, Inc. Arm & Hammer cleaning products also ® Church & Dwight Co, Inc. ("They get around...") All laundry detergent ® The Sun Products Corporation. Tide laundry detergent ® Procter & Gamble.

Whatever else is left, © 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Enough "wining"! Clean up the damn spill! $555 dollars damage. ;D
Meriadoc - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, isn't there an internet site for that? Nah, that was spaghetti sauce on great grandma's table cloth... I hear turtle soup stains even worse...
Mark Scotti - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
555 more bottles for the wine cellar!
MERLot WhINEee™ - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Hands down best product placement in a parody--EVER!
(TT™--Are ewe sure FG™ isn't the Billy Mays Whisperer®?)
Phil Nelson - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever idea and parody
2Eagle - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
The OS was so BORING. Your parody is a vast improvement. The worst songs inspire the best parodies although there are exceptions to the rule eg. Lili Marlene.
Fiddlegirl - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to OMR, Meriadoc (lol!), Mark Scotti: Woo-Hoo! (you're invited anytime...)

MERLot WhINEee: Haha! (And if you act now, we'll *double* the offer!)

Phil: Thanks :)

2Eagle: That's very often true, isn't it? :)
Aussie Stew Is Good, Too - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Fiddlegirl makes a lot of messes (physically and parodically) when she's had a few, and a fair number when not, and guess who ends up "cleaning them up", so to speak? (j/k!)

Meriadoc, I love you, too. (sheesh!)

Mark Scotti: In the current economy, I'd probably become a "wine seller", but sure appreciate the gift!

Phil Nelson: Idea was Fg's - thanks. (guess who cleaned it up? ;-)

MERLot WhINEee™: Fiddlegirl is a Sham, but, Wow™! .... now we're just waiting for the payola to rolla-in ;)

2Eagle: Who's Lili Marlene, and can you hook me up?

Fiddlegirl: Gotcha back for that "lol" @ Merry, in reply to OMR. Pbbbthhh. -- 'n ya kin clean up yer own messes heretoforthwith! ;) xoxxoxo
FG @ TT - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Sounds like a mess-ianic complex to me... ;)
Christie Marie M - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
I "vino" bad girl because I must be responsible to spill the wine on your new furniture, especially an expensive wine! It's a wonder that the song "Spill the wine, get that girl!" was invented! LOL! 555 Club sodas to cover that wine stain!
Christie Marie M - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Forgot to say great job using cleaning products as puns in your song!
2Eagle to Aussie - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Lili Marlene is a song that came out of WWII and is the most recorded song next to Memory and Amazing Grace. You can hear "her" on You Tube.
Tommy Turtle - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: LOL @ "vino"! ... "Spill the wine" *would* be a logical follow-up, but with your gracious compliments to the cleaning products, we went with yet another of those for Wednesaday. Thanks for v/c!

2Eagle: Most covered, or most played? ... (seriously) had always thought that "most played" was B. Crosby's "White Christmas", until passed by "Yesterday". I wasn't around during WWII, though, so appreciate the info.

FG: Obviously, you have me confused with the POTUS. ;) (an easy mistake to make, to be sure - we're sooo alike! ;)

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