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Song Parodies -> "Wisened Guys"

Original Song Title:

"Lying Eyes"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Wisened Guys"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For a Youtube listen to the OS of "Lying Eyes" by The Eagles click HERE

Nitti's girls like old "No Money's" Shirley, [1]
Known to be mob whores with lust and style.
If ditch the clan,
They'll be had in a hurry.
They'll mess up all their face and be defiled.

Late at night the racket boss gets horny,
They best never turn and refuse, must play nice.
So they play the part and brings their love to
cronies, heffin' for the clan's black hands like guys called "Ice".

There's no sellin' they must not have 'counts receiving,
They're bump sport for old friends who come to town.
There's no way they ain't knowin' they ain't leaving.
They're bedded for competing interests bound.

They can ride just wisened guys,
Guys with guile dealin' death, demise.
They're taught just how to please wise guys.
They've chained away their pride to lionize.

On the upper side of town some noise need straight'ning,
Some wily guys with schemes and guns they deal.
Deprived their due, no rights participating,
'Cause the stake they deal they'll pay the price to deal.

Blood gushes from small arms,
They're mauled and leveled,
Their whistle blown, they're taken out in style,
With flair these goons could go out and whack the devil.
Put tools away and leaves them in a pile.

They got died by wizened guys,
It's their guile caused these men's demise.
Turf's mob's cash cow; no dealin' wise,
There ain't no way they'll slide on wizened guys.

Won't let up they'll pour on in some strong guns,
They'll tear up rival bars of rival guys,
Another fight, they're bringing out the long guns,
They're drawn to shade and bang on heads, these wise.

These gunners now sometimes they get some crazy,
To fink out one the boys would be a fool,
Rid and retired, their job's 'bout pushin' daisies,
They're too far gone; they've done this stuff since school.

Why oh why sometimes they will do some strange things,
They've set themselves up well, not carelessly.
They got money and their true wives don't engage things,
And they get their strange from girls they use for free.

You can't hide from wisened guys,
And their guile cause men's demise.
If caught they vow no deal these wise,
They got their ways and pride these wisened guys,
They live each day "inside" these wizened guys.
Money's how they ride these wisened guys...

[1] "No Money" and Shirley are first introduced in this parody:

Click here Screams of Our Italian-ness We Rant

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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alvin - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
another fine addition to your oraganized crime file....hate the OS...loved this
littleVo - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
555 Sir Guy, ~Duke o'Wise~, this really matched the Eagles tune, which I still enjoy. Good story! Kinda like NO COUNTRY FOR . . .
Guy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Alvin - Glad you liked my version even though you don't like the OS. I have a CD of Eagles greatest hits and this OS is on it. I like every song on it, but then again I am an Eagles fan. I should be doing more Eagles in upcoming parodies. So now that I've added to my mob repertoire, it's your turn for an addition to your Bates horrordy repertoire. I'm still waiting for you to try your hand at mob. You have a lot of talent and I know you would be quite good at it. I learned how to do Bates horrody just from reading your parodies before I ever had the pleasure of seeing Psycho. Now I own all four Psycho movies. So if I can learn from you, then you should be able to learn from me. I have a whole whoop of mob stuff on my page, have at it. And thanks for your attention and comment. my frined.

M'Lady - I have obtained still another title as the Duke of Wise. I am honoured to have such a noble title bestowed upon me by one as fair as thee. My humble gratitude to M'Lady for her kindness in remarks of my writings and bestowing of title.
AFW - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Fine work, should write syndicate novels..You seem to have a great touch for these themes
alvin - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
lemme see what i can do as far as writing a mob parody.....i DO like two eagle songs...."already gone" and 'the disco stangler" a lifelong southern californian i know i'm supposed to like the laid back country rock sound, but i just don't don't....i DO like a lot of country, but i like really really hokey stuff along the lines of jimmy dean's "please, pass the biscuits" or "drunk driver" by ferlin husky...also a sucker for yodeling, rockabilly and eef-a-nanny (don't know if i even spelled that right but it consists mainly of slapping your knees and making weird grunting noises"...musically, i'm just a mess
Guy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Mr. Farce - I get it honestly - it was a;ways around me when I was growing up in a "Little Italy" neighborhood.

Alvin - I didn't mean that you should try to do a mob parody to an Eagles song. Just anything that you are comfortable doing. Laid back rock-a-billy would be just fine. Me I like Billy Joel and Elton John for a lot of the ones I do but I've basically run out of the good ones on these guys. Have fun, I know I will when I read one. I'll even ask Carmine to comment.
Peregrin - March 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Good mob mentality in this song!
Guy - March 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Pip I'm glad you liked it, I had fun writing it. The idea just "hit" me.
Abbott Skelding - November 11, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC (WX)- Never heard the OS, but a lot of good stuff in this one!
Mark Scotti - November 14, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC) Not going into the "Parody re-location Program"(which would be bad) for this one! 555 mob hits!
Below Average Dave - November 21, 2010 - Report this comment
I've seen your opinion on grammar with regard to importance in parody writing, so I'm not going to harp on it but its hard for me to get into something that is said like "If ditch the clan" or "Guys with Guile dealing Death demise". . .its just hard to understand for me when it is written like that throughout--but that's just me. . .I hope that you don't take it personally 'cause I know you are a good writer, its just odd for comprehension purposes.
Agrimorfee - November 24, 2010 - Report this comment
As usual, the technical prowess you give here belies the flow and ease of understanding the words. Good job Guy, it's just hard to read it, you know?
LilVoJeep - November 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Le Marquis De Wise, do have a warm & wonderful ThanksGiving, Sir ! . . . Delicioso !
bobpiecheese - November 28, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC5) I had trouble reading this as well, but whether that's from the odd grammar used or my unfamiliarity with the subject matter I can't tell. Still, the pacing was very well done, and just the idea of a mafia song to such a laidback OS amuses me greatly. 555 (now that's an offer you can't refuse).

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