"Hey Nathan, could you move over?
I'm just looking for a place to sit
So move your behind
If you would be so kind
Or said behind I'll have to kick

That's no joke, I will do it, man
Though I am so tired, and boy is it hot!"
But then up he jumped and presented his rump
and said "Kiss my ass you clot!"

"I bet you didn't know it
but I fought real hard for this seat
So on your bike and rack off, Mike!"
So I punched out his teeth

Now he threw a pretty good punch, right then
But his aim wasn't so good
He socked some buff man and hurt his hand
I think he's in trouble, don't you?

The man said "My name's Eddy
But most folks call me Ed
And I've got four friends
I bet you'll regret
Missing that punch thrown at your friend"

"Eddy, you talkin' total crap
I see no friends, retard!
So push off, this fight ain't yours
You big stupid tub of lard"
But Ed just smiled and clicked his monstrous fingers: lo behold!
His mates appeared and Nathan's pants were soiled

The first guy punched in Nathan's face
Nathan couldn't land a blow
Soon Nathan was bleeding from his lip
And he couldn't feel his toes

Now I could call Nathan many things
But a quitter isn't one
So he kicked Ed in the gonads
And Ed screamed - a real loud one

(Instrumental screaming section)

After quite a while he took a breath
"Do you know what you have done?
Now you're in for it, mark my words
Ev'ry body present - go get that bum!"

Half the people went to help Ed
The other half took Nathan's side, yes oh yes!
Someone threw a Coke can, before you know
Ev'rything went bonkers
There they go!

(Instrumental everyone's-beatin'-the-crap-outta-everyone-else section)

The fight came to an end
Ed had scarpered, hit the streets
And Nath then looked behind him
To see that I'd nicked his seat!

Nathan said "Michael, you pile crap
You wanna go through all that again?
I'm not tired yet, you son of a bitch
Better get out while you can!"

And then he
Hit me in the mouth, got my gun
"Well, Nathan, do ya feel lucky? Do ya, punk?"
"Lucky is my mid name!" "Wasn't it Joe?"
Same thing happens each night
'Fraid it's so