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Song Parodies -> "Bad Ticker"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Sneakers"

Original Performer:

Steely Dan

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Ticker"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Five steps I can hardly commandeer
Without coughing, hacking,
Puking up my lungs on someone's rear
I can see the neighbors wondering
Whether to dial 911
Or stand around and have a laugh
At this old, gasping man for fun

And my leg is in pain
But my doctor's on some beach in Spain
Guess I'll limp the streets alone
'Coz most accidents occur at home
Bad ticker - need a wheelchair and clapper, my friend
Holding up the traffic by Mattress City, and
LIke Shel Silverstein,
I wish this damn sidewalk would end

Young whippersnapper, running down the block
Someday your veins will harden
And there'll be age spots on your c**k
Don't think I'm some old fool
For gumming pre-digested meat
It goes down gracefully so there's more time to wheeze and pee

And my arm's going numb
So I'll smash law office fronts for fun
Guess I'll die here alone
Before they wheel me to an old age home
Bad ticker - need a priest and a hooker my friend
My heart needs a prayer and my dick needs one last lay-er, and
Like Led Zeppelin, my stairway has come to an end

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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John Barry - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Good snickers here.
alvin rhodes - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
more than a murmur of laughter from me...5s
AFW - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I can relate..been having some motor trouble, lately...very well done
Yoidy - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks John, Alv, AFW - hope your motor trouble is of the auto variety!
Jason - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
This is EXCELLENT Yoidy! Made me chuckle throughout much of the afternoon!
Yoidy - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Jason!

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