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Song Parodies -> "The Laws of Science"

Original Song Title:

"The Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Laws of Science"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

A bit of a diatribe about the frequent misreporting of nearly all science-based stories in the various news media. In a news world where the story is all-important, and the bottom line is to sell more newspapers or get more viewers for your advertisers, scientific accuracy often gets lost by the wayside...
Hello students, pupils, friends
I've come to talk to you again
To tell you all about the horrific
Misunderstanding of the scientific
Which method has been true since time began
And so we can
Derive the laws of science

First take the research that you do
Submit it all for peer review
Both for the eminent and lowly
To check if methods were all hole-y
So we can all be sure that the papers
That they write
Were written right
About the laws of science

But in the media I saw
Ten thousand errors, maybe more.
Mere speculation without thinking
Extrapolation without testing
People quoting sensationalist, untested tracts
Forget the facts
Forget the laws of science

Fools said I, if you believe
In Science so religiously
Don't you see the whole idea is
Rig'rous testing of all theories
But doing things right does not a newspaper sell
..(oh, what the hell)
So who cares
'Bout laws of science?

With so much ignorance displayed
'Bout this new techno-God they've made.
That I now give out this warning
About the techno-age that's dawning
What I say: the words in the media
And written in the press are full
Of utter bull
They break the laws of science

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   14

User Comments

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Silly Willie - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Not very funny but well written.
Paul Robinson - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
So that 'Moon' thing, Phil...not made of Green Cheese after all? Wow...whodathunkit? 5's for inkreesing my gnaw-ledge ~ ~ ~
Phil Alexander - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul - until I've seen samples brought back from the moon, and tested as being green-cheese-free, I wouldn't be able to back the assertion that it's not... but it would be a fairly unusual theory that could posit that it *is* ;-)
Willie - thanks: they're not all funny. Sometimes my bile runs away with me, and sometimes it's merely a little bit educational. I have to admit that I do get really rather annoyed with a lot of the (mis)reporting of science, and the incredibly overwhelming belief some people, politicians especially, seems to have in Science (with a capital S).
Tim Mayfield - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
So how do you test for dinosaurs? Or the heat of the sun? Or Elvis?

Good message and great OS pick! 5's
Rick C - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job on this, Phil. We both latched onto Simon and Garfunkel today..5s
Leo Jay - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
AFW - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Quite profound..
Adagio - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Good theory.
Science Student - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I am writing my graduate thesis on the "Existence of Babies", and I am looking for a few freshman coed volunteers to help me "reproduce" the results using the scientific method so I can graduate.
Stray Pooch - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Silly Willy says this is not funny, but to paraphrase Yul Brenner, "Not to be funny is good thing in scientific mind." According to the latest research by the Center for Science in the Parody's Interest this parody is rated at 555.
Michael Pacholek - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I found this parody both stimulating and logical. The best "Sound of Silence" parody I've seen since... come to think of it, being a scientist, you can probably figure out just what Soylent Green is made of. (Yes, that was a shameless plug.)
John Jenkins - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good parody, Phil. But what is an example of mis-reporting that annoys you - global warming?
Dominic L. - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
555... great parody!
Red Ant - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Well penned Phil.
Peter Andersson - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
You're such a PHILomath!

(I learnt that word a while back and I've been waiting for a chance to use it, right here and now seems very appropriate). :-)
Phil Alexander - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
\Phil"o*math\, n. [Gr. ?; fi`los loving, a friend + ma`qh learning, fr. ?, ?, to learn.] A lover of learning; a scholar. --Chesterfield.
...why thank you, Peter :-) Maybe I should change my surname...
JJ - global warming's one of those deliciously grey areas in science: since there's no way to test ones theses (other than by hanging around for fifty years), the output from the various models used to predict climate change varies hugely - at this point, there isn't a "this will happen", guaranteed prediction; however, the "based on this model, such-and-such behaviour is extremely likely" is the best anyone can come up with. At this point, it's no longer a "science" problem, but a political, even cultural one. Unfortunately, our leaders seem to find it hard to deal with a scientist who uses words like "might" and "probability" - they expect certainties from science, when there aren't always certainties to be had.
Michael - not shameless enough, you forgot the URL: To everyone else: read it (both the parody, and the book ;-))
Johnny D - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
It's poetry in motion
When Phil writes a parody
He makes a great commotion
Of lyrical hilarity
He's blinded us with science!
And his brilliant abilities!
John Jenkins - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil, I agree with your thoughtful assessment of global warming. It seems like more and more people are jumping on the global warming bandwagon, but there is still way too much uncertainty over such things how do the models factor in clouds and oceans and why was there such a cold winter this past year.

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