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Song Parodies -> "Victoria Beckham: "I Just Aren't That Clever""

Original Song Title:

"Diamonds Are Forever"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Victoria Beckham: "I Just Aren't That Clever""

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Okay, Posh Spice might not be too smart, but she did manage to write this song...

I just aren't that clever
I thought LA life would please me
but they ridicule and tease me
I won't go out at night
coz those homeless men might
disease me

I just aren't that clever
just want David to caress me
kiss me, bonk me, then re-dress me
I will always be cute
coz I've told David to
deep-freeze me

I don't - have - thoughts!
for what good would thoughts do me?
I starred in Spice Girls Movie
I sang a
SONG...
(oxymoron)

I just aren't that clever
I'm quite sure your little finger
has more braincells than this singer
I was pretty back then
but since I've gotten thin
I'm prettier!!

I don't - use - words
that have more than 2 syllbles
Syllbles make me misrble
Words that are
LONG...
I say all wrong

I just aren't that clever
that clever
that clever
I just aren't that clever
that clever
that clever
repeat this line forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
forever
(ewww, it's a homeboy! ...DAVID!! DAVID!!!!)


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 1
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 5   18
 17
 18
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jason - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I never liked Victoria Beckham as she is soooooooo full of herself, but a great parody take on her. 545
alvin - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
nice bit o' bashin' to a worthy victim
John Barry - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I wonder if Beckham bends her? Nice job.
Jack Wilson - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Better than any Spice Girls song,5a
Peter Andersson - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Looks like we're on the same tangent today Stu, I too went and put words in a female narrators mouth. As for Posh, was I the only one who noticed that she did her US debut already as an extra in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, as one of those skeletons!
Phil Alexander - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant! "Syllbles make me misrble" was sheer genius :-D
Michael Pacholek - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
And it's posted on Geri Halliwell's birthday, no less. I remember the '98 World Cup, and Jay Leno said the scores were all zero-zero, and said it was like the Spice Girls on "Jeopardy!"
Agrimorfee - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
MAY-JUH!! 555
Tommy Turtle - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Leave it to Stu to give away Victoria's secret... How does she pronounce her four-syllble name? Victra?
Peregrin - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
God work Stu! Like Phil, the "syllbles" line got me as well!
Matthias - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Spice, Spice Baby!
stuart mcarthur - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks Jason alvin and John (yes-just before re-dressing her)
thanks Jack and Peter (I'll check yours out)
thanks Phil, MP (lol) and Agri (MAY-JUH????)
good point, TT - "Vicky" or "Airhead" I'm tipping
thanks Pippin and matthias :-)
John Jenkins - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent spoof with clever substitions.
Red Ant - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
"Syllbles make me misrble" ; indeed, genius. Loved the rhyming, as well as the target of the parody. You ought to have used "sphincter" instead of "finger" though, heh heh. 555, my clever man.
TJC - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Never a mis-step, Stuart, and this is no exception to the rule of fives (the vote, not 'the girls')! You're so good its-- Scary!
stuart mcarthur - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks JJ
thanks Jack - yes, I was going to mention there was another finger/singer couplet coming up in mine, but thought it sounded too shameless-pluggy, but you're right, that is why I commented on that aspect of your parody ;-)
thanks TJC - Posh was always the sexy one, but looking at her now, if they ever reform, she'd have to become the new Scary
Jeff Reuben - November 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Came across this in the list of songs for the ABC contest and the title made me laugh loudly at work. Had to share :)
Mark Scotti - November 03, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC - Posh has another hit, as do you Jeff!! LOL!!!
Guy - November 09, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC05UV)

Stu - This aren't half bad and a lot more clever than the subject that it spoofs. Well Done!
Agrimorfee - November 13, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Stu I owe you an explanation...I think when I first read this there was a recent SNL skit with a Victoria Beckham character saying "MAY-JUH!" throughout the whole thing. Still a MAY-JUH work from you, buddy.
Leo Keough - November 14, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC(5)_U/V Nice bit of celeb bashing!!!...555!!!
bobpiecheese - November 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Barely know who Victoria is, but the parody was still well-written and the pacing was excellent. 555
Matthias - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody sounds like it could have been written by Mr. Red Ant (the King of mockery) himself. Stuart McArthur doing this seems a bit out of place but still did a fantastic lovely job bending it like Beckham.
Below Average Dave - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good job on taking her on. Matty--perhaps you forget "Watch Madonna's Movies". . .among others;) Classic
Melanie Lee - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Man,.this is some coooooooold stuff! And then that 2nd bridge cracked me up! Great! 555 and community college. (Hey, I happen to be in a community college computer room right now!).
Red Ant - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Matt, but Stu is the king of celebrity bashes. Even after two+ years, this parody is still quite excellent.

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