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Song Parodies -> "Impaling"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Rod Stewart

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Peregrin: We have out troubles in the world as it stands. However, having researched this subject, I'm happy to take my chances in the present day! If this subject requires more explanation, look up 'Impalement' on Wiki. Rod's rustic warblings provide a lovely juxtaposition to a game the whole family could play - if they were REALLY unlucky... Original song on YouTube

Also, feel free to marvel at Rod's WOEFUL lip-synching
I’m impaling; My domain in Transylvain’; Dracul’ be
I’m impaling barmy cotters, to be crow food, you will be

I am plying, stakes for prying, call me Vlad if you please
I’m applying pointy high poles to be speared through, insides squeeze

Do you fear me? All those near me? Ottomans: here, do not stray
High stake flying, for not complying; thorax squished through, insides flayed

Those who jeer me, I will spear thee, skew them just right, bowels give way
Thy defying, sees pole applying – quickly leads to your dismay

Me Romanian - me impaling, moan again, turns on me
Been impaling on my orders, bad to be my enemy

For sure, I’m a torture devotee
Ignore your appeals for clemency
I’m bored – let me spear through all with glee


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   14
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Leough - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Beautiful pacing and rhyming! The thought occurred to me: What if 'Vlad' Putin saw this and thought it was directed at him? I once tried to write "Vlad" to "Bad" by Michael Jackson, but gave up on the project due to insufficient knowledge about the subject. Maybe you two could do justice it.
TJC - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Nailed it! M&P, aka, 'Vlad-the-Regaler'—they don't sparkle in the sunlight, wallow in angst or hang out with werewolves, but they always Stoker the fires of imagination!
Timmy1000 - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I agree with Leough - pacing was outstanding. It is an interesting combination with the melodic song vs. your story. What I want to know is if Rod was out on the water or if he sang in front of a screen with a wind machine to blow his hair around.
John Barry - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
When in Rom'. . . .
Peregrin - February 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Thank you everyone who has commented so far. Leough, I will give it some thought. Vlad was at the G20 Summit held in my city (Brisbane) a few months ago. He pinged everybody off (they were already pinged off because of his assumed involvement/knowledge regarding MH370), then he ordered warships to patrol off our coast (we don't even like Yank warships coming near, and we are in the ANZUS treaty with you, so imagine how we felt about Vlad's navy) and then he flew home early (presumably cos no-one would sit with him at the dinner table or something important). Having said all that, there should be enough material there to put some s**t on him.
Vlad - February 20, 2015 - Report this comment
Comrade, I will have you know that it is MH17 you are talking about that I...ummm...errr...never mind. Not that they have any proof on or anything. So bring on this s**t of which you speak, I will add it to my collection. Dasvidanya for now.
Phil Alexander - February 20, 2015 - Report this comment
Didn't realize Rod Stewart's in the top 10 male solo artists (until the question came up on a quiz show).. but there's no mis-stake on this one. Very pointed.

..has anyone done the "Vlad"/"Bad" sub about Putin? That's one you could really, er, get your teeth into :-)
Andy Primus - February 21, 2015 - Report this comment
I really enjoyed this one as I’ve read a lot about Vlad. Surprised you didn’t try to fit “I am nailing (envoys turbans)” in there somewhere.
Union Flag - February 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Australia was His Majesty's dumping ground for ruffians, deserters, and criminal scum not worthy of serving the crown. Too right. A nation of lazy drongos on the dole who drove the Abos back to that cinder of an outback that is the red earth heart of a worthless nation. May you be devoured by a great white, P-scrapper.
Peregrin - February 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Ye Gods! An angry person! :)

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