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Song Parodies -> "You're Not Too Smart"

Original Song Title:

"You're In My Heart"

Original Performer:

Rod Stewart

Parody Song Title:

"You're Not Too Smart"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

This is about a dude I work with, mostly true...
You didn't know what day it was
And you thought August was June
You said you were hung over
But you'd feel better soon

Starting on your day of work
Getting through it takes a miracle
Simple concepts you don't quite get
Like this planet is mostly spherical

The boss sees all these faults of yours
But somehow still you collect a paycheck here
Your work ethic makes me sick
It's all so deleterious

The last crew chief we had, had had quite enough
We thought we'd seen the last of you
But they stepped in and saved your job
That's why you pay those union dues

You're not too smart and it's a crime
You take long naps on comp'ny time
You are a loafer, a waste of skin
It's such a sin

Contempt for you is immeasurable
No respect for you exists
You're foolish, clueless, unkempt, useless
All your co-workers are pissed

You're buffoonery, a tragedy
You're an idiot and a jerk
You're an albatross around the neck
Of every place you've ever worked

You're not too smart and it's a crime
You take long naps on comp'ny time
You are a loafer, a waste of skin
It's such a sin

You don't belong in a trade
You can't sell lemonade
And you're every foreman's curse
You are such a big slob, I don't think any job
You could be doing any worse

Many times I shake my head
Many times I've wished you'd drown
But then they went and promoted you
Now you're the dumbest manager around

You're not too smart and it's a crime
You take long breaks on comp'ny time
You are a loafer, a waste of skin
It's such a sin

"Whiz", a new funny song at the top of "Recordings"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
5's, brilliantly written and funny, Highlander! Reminds me of Wally, the consummate goldbricker from "Dilbert". And in "Dilbert", the pointy-haired boss is even stupider than Wally. Kind of follows from your thesis here!
John Barry - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Like the way you build the story up as you tear the guy down.
Paul Robinson - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - A friend of mine is the Lead Scenic Painter on a Network TV Sitcom and this sounds just like the way he describes one member of his crew, whom he refers to as "Minimum Bob" when we get together and grouse about work or whatever. Actually, he says the guy is competent enough and has about 30 years experience. But he will NEVER do anything unless you specifically tell him. He will see a minor problem with something NEXT to what he is working on but won't fix it OR tell anyone, but if you bring it up, "Oh, yeah, I noticed that". BUT, the guy is "Shop Steward", so he's going to keep going like the "Energizer Bunny" - with worn down batteries, until retirement age, which is still about 5+ years off...5's here
Billy Florio - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
EXCELLENT!!!! I know someone just like this at my workplace...cant figure out why hes hasnt been fired yet......5-5-5
Ashkicksass - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Well of course he was promoted to manager. That's how it works at my company too. But I'm not bitter...
alvin rhodes - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
great wordplay...tons better than the original
Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Give him a break, he's finally got enough brains to admit that he can't win the war.

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