Song Parodies -> Thrilling Me Hard-ly With Her Thong
| Original Song Title: | "Killing Me Softly With His Song" |
| Original Performer: | Roberta Flack |
| Parody Song Title: | "Thrilling Me Hard-ly With Her Thong" |
| Parody Written by: | Tommy Turtle |
Added a couple of extra verses 'cuz was havin' fun, OK? So don' gimme any Flack about it! :-) OS lyrics here. YouTube video here.
Bummer: my Jane ain't a swinger
Swinging, my wife thinks absurd
Willingly boff me: not for long
Chilling me oftly: "headache, strong"
Quelling my hole life; for the birds!
Drilling? She scoffed; she: "Run along!"
Owwww.....
I heard she had a cute thong
Also, a pretty smile
And so I went to strip club
To lap-dance for a while
And there she stood, this young girl
Disrobing 'fore my eyes
Brushing my face with her fingers
Rubbing my schlong: that occurred
Thrilling me hard-ly with her thong
Thrilling me; hard, geez, pointed prong!
Dwelling no more: wife, what a nerd!
Swilling a costly ... drink, not strong
I felt flushed 'round my collar
Her bare-assed lovely pair
Reached for another dollar
To stuff it way down there!
I prayed she'd let me "finish"
But she'd quickly withdrawn
Marriage is bain; they're all clingers
Get you for life; break their words
Grilling you; bossing, same old song
Killing you slowly all life long
Telling you whole lies, till vow heard
Billing divorce-ly, money gone...
She danced as if to scr*w me
Recall my stark despair!
And then turned her back to me
And waved her derriére
Her hips just kept on swinging
Wringing, here, my schlong
Plumbing her drain with my fingers
Snaking the pipe of this bird
Billing me costly with her thong
Thrilling, it cost me: rang my gong
Telling of home life, anger stirred
Bills, I did cough up, fever strong
[interlude: drinking; dancing, music; i. e., wine, women, and song. Why is there anything else?]
oooooo....ah, ah, ah, ....ooooooooooo... oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Strumming, sustain on my zinger
Stinging was rife, lust was spurred
Thrilling me softly, hit from bong
Willy was waving at the throng
Dancer to dull wife, I preferred
Sniffing a sweet whiff of her thong
She danced so close up to me
In all her beauty bare
And then she said she'd do me
For just a C-note pair
And she just kept on swinging
Swinging hips so strong
Coming like rain, made it linger
Flinging my wife to the birds
Filling her coffers from my dong
Willingly doffed she, little thong
Selling my soul, wife; morals blurred
Spilling seed softly, went along
She was humming my vein
Yeah, mem'ry shrinking: my wife
Killing my notions: right from wrong
Certain no more where ... I belong
Smelling: breath; speaking somewhat slurred
Thrilling me loft'ly
All night long
© 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com
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User Comments Follow...
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Fabulouth thong-writing here
Sounds like this cost you a bunch of "hard" cash - here are some 5's.
It was a very enthonging read, TT!
5 teathers...
nicely rhymed
Very funny & with loads of great lines (as usual)
" Stay thirsty, hombre " . . . . oh, that voice . . . how it tickles my ears . . . Oh Dave, I miss you so, . . . May the gods go with you, Cowboy.
You're riding the crest with the breast and the nest...tricky wording and phrasing..
PMEth: TT thankth you tho much!
Timmy1000 (lol): Thanks -- and this is the ONLY time at this site that I'm gonna change Fives for Ones lol!
Mark Thonggi: I do believe you've added both a new verb ("enthong") and a new adjectival participle ("enthonging") to the language! Quite the cunning linguist, you are ... thanks for v/c/p (participle).
alvin: gratitude for your attitude
Andy Primus: Thanks ... waiting until I have time to savor your undoubted masterpiece tonight!
UnKnownVO: Uh, OK, thanks ... (is there an UKVO - English dictionary on line?)
AFW: And you're doing the same with the comments lately! Thanks, and very wittily said.
Timmy1000 (lol): Thanks -- and this is the ONLY time at this site that I'm gonna change Fives for Ones lol!
Mark Thonggi: I do believe you've added both a new verb ("enthong") and a new adjectival participle ("enthonging") to the language! Quite the cunning linguist, you are ... thanks for v/c/p (participle).
alvin: gratitude for your attitude
Andy Primus: Thanks ... waiting until I have time to savor your undoubted masterpiece tonight!
UnKnownVO: Uh, OK, thanks ... (is there an UKVO - English dictionary on line?)
AFW: And you're doing the same with the comments lately! Thanks, and very wittily said.
Fantastically poetic throughout... highly consistent with TMGL, but favorite couplet:
Strumming, sustain on my zinger
Stinging was rife, lust was spurred
and to riff off PMS --
Ya thung a thong of thick pants
A pocket full of wry!
Strumming, sustain on my zinger
Stinging was rife, lust was spurred
and to riff off PMS --
Ya thung a thong of thick pants
A pocket full of wry!
You didn't go slack on Flack.
Jerry Holmes: Thank you, Sir -- you must be the Small Head, since, contrary to otherwise-universal anatomy, for your brother John, the lower head is the Large one. ... didja ask permission from PMS before ya started riffin' all over her? lol thanks JH.
John Barry, thank right back.
John Barry, thank right back.
LOL!!!...555!!!
Leo Keough, thanks!!!
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This is view # 187
Softly With These Songs: The Best of Roberta Flack album at Amazon.com
Killing Me Softly album at Amazon.com
First Take album at Amazon.com
Chapter Two album at Amazon.com
Blue Lights in the Basement album at Amazon.com
The Best of Roberta Flack album at Amazon.com
