My son said, dad I think I'm ready to take that leap
And I've found myself a gal, that I think's really sweet
One thing I will say before your new life's complete
There must be 50 ways that you can bug her
I sat the fool boy down and talked to him a bit
I said you have to make real sure you don't dig yourself a pit
My son don't be alarmed if you see her throw a fit
There must be 50 ways that you can bug her
50 ways you can upset her

Always leave up the seat, Pete
Buy a new vette, Bret
When you go to the lake, Jake
Watch sports on TV
Don't wash the pans, Stan
Never take out the trash, Nash
You eat only beans, Gene
Then let your breeze free

An angel on this earth, well that's one thing she's not
There's something you should consider boy before you tie the knot
A few things to contemplate before that ring's ever bought
There must be 50 ways
And this is what my son replied right back to me
You see I've watched you and mommy fight since I was only three
I've seen what you do wrong and I have seen you pay the price, you see
There must be 50 ways that you have bugged her
50 ways that you upset her

When you don't mow the lawn, Shawn
Eat from the can, Dan
If you sleep through the play, Jay
Say "do what I say"
Spend on a whim, Jim
Or tend not to discuss much
You make a big fuss, Russ
Forget holidays