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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Ways To Get Your Lover To Leave"

Original Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Ways To Get Your Lover To Leave"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Not a parody, exactly, but the real reasons Paul Simon never explained in his song.There's really only one way to "Leave" your lover. (Walk out the door) But here's fifty reasons that might cause that to happen.
1. Laugh at her rack, Jack
2. Forget your pill, Jill
3. Leave up the seat, Pete
4. Don't flush the pot, Lotte
5. Smoke all her weed, Reed
6. Smash up his van, Fran
7. Call her a dyke, Mike
8. Garnish his pay, May
9. Barf down her shirt, Kurt
10. Just cut the cheese, Louise
11. Yell at her mom, Tom
12. Beat up her kid, Sid
13. Bite on his Rod, Maude
14. Leave a big mess, Les
15. Stay out till three, Lee
16. Tell her to suck, Chuck
17. Make his balls blue, Sue
18. Call her a Ho, Moe
19. Refuse the poon, June
20. Fart in her face, Ace
21. Show him your gun, Hon
22. Go boink her niece, Reese
23. Punch at his nose, Rose
24. Hang out in bars, Lars
25. Get old and gray, Faye
26. Squirt in her eye, Guy
27. Make him do chores, Delores
28. Lose your good job, Bob
29. Get a tattoo, Pru
30. Take her to court, Mort
31. Cook up his pet, Yvette
32. Take out a hit, Kit
33. Sleep with his dad, Mad
34. Show her some porn, Lorne
35. Cut off his ween, Coleen
36. Have lots of B.O., Joe
37. Give him the crabs, Babs
38. Give her a virus, Cyrus
39. Steal his money, Honey
40. Do lots of crack, Mac
41. Mock her big rump, Chump
42. Poison his egg, Meg
43. Tell her you cheat, Pete
44. Break down and cry, Vi
45. Don't give her head, Fred
46. Hide his pillow, Willow
47. Light up a smoke, Bloke
48. Tell him to go. Flo
49. Whiz on her floor, Thor
50. Get really fat, Pat
Mari contributed to this list.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
You've got the fifty ways, Rick.! :D (But where are the verses?)
Mr. Critic - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
As you said, this is not a parody, and so has no place on this site. I'm being generous with the 133
Rick D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Mr. Critic, that's why I put the disclaimer. There are lots of things that have no place on this site, but they are here. And Adagio, I remember our discussion. This song has been parodied so many times, I didn't feel like taking another stab. But on the one you did, I asked how come no one ever lists fifty reasons.
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember, Rick...got to hand it to you, you did comr up eith 50! :D
Rod Worden - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Neat trick, Rick. Btw, was that a nod, Maude? 555.
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Youch! See how I operate in the morning? I've never seen so many typos on mine. That's 'come up with' instead of 'comr up eith'. 5's
Rick D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod we may be going to Placerville in next few weeks????
martha - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent Rick seriously inventive!!
Laurence dunne - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Take a dump on the lawn, John Convert to Islam, Man Spend all of the dough, moe Show the neighbor your crack, mack!
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I like parodies that break the "rules" yet make me laugh, like this one, and like some of Green Bloodied Hound Dogs' wonderful "Zen-like" ramblings. This easily gets 5-5-5 from me, since the pacing of each individual "excerpted" line matches the pacing of those "Do whatever whatever, whoever" lines in the original song.

P.S. Rick, that'll be $ 50.00, please, for your line "Refuse the poon, June". Thank you. Heh heh heh, must be a full poon. Er, did I say that?
Rick D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Good. That's one of the ones Mari gave me. go charge her.
Meriadoc - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, I saw one of the 50 that I quite liked... ;-)
Peregrin - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it, great diversion

Mr Critic? Sheeesh!
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
51. Pummel his pole, Nicole
52. Douse her with wax, Max
53. Burn him with oil, Goil
54. Make her eat crap, Chap
55. Force him to hurl, Girl
56. Crush his left ball, Doll
57. Poke her with a fork, Dork
58. Flic a Bic on his dick, Vic
59. Move to Iraq, Mack
60. Bugger a seal, Neil
61. Pick his dog's nose, Rose
62. Sniff her dog's anus, Amos
63. Make him drink piss, Miss
Spaff.com - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Do Chappaquiddick, "Critic"

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